


Back To You

by twoteencarat



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Baby Daddy, Domestic Fluff, Exes, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Back Together, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Parenthood, Post-Break Up, Roommates, Single Parents, Slice of Life, Teen Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25056802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twoteencarat/pseuds/twoteencarat
Summary: You and Mark were over. You had been for a long time. The only remainder of your relationship was your five year old daughter. But when he stays with you for a while, will old feelings get stirred back up?
Relationships: Mark Lee (NCT)/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	1. Something New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s an exciting time as you and Mark prepare for your daughter’s first day of school.

“Thanks for your help.” You open the front door of your new apartment to let Mark in.

“No problem.” Mark smiles before putting the last box on the hallway floor, letting out a small breath.

“What do you think kiddo?” He enters the second bedroom. “New house and a new school, you must be excited!”

“Yes! I! Am!” Your daughter jumps on the bed, bouncing with each word before leaping into her dad’s arms.

“You’re going to break it Hana.” You try to bestern but can’t help smiling as Hana squeals with glee while Mark holds her upside down.

“I think someone needs a trampoline.” He says while putting her down on the bed.

“Won’t it be too big?” Hana asks with a puzzled look on her face.

“Nope. You can get small ones.” Mark shows Hana a picture on his phone when you hear someone knocking at your front door.

You’re greeted by a man holding a gift basket full of muffins.

“Just thought I’d welcome you to the building, I’m Winwin.” He hands you the gift basket.

“These are lovely, thank you. I’m Y/N.”

“And I’m Hana!” Your daughter pipes up out of nowhere, one hand waving at your new neighbour, the other holding Mark’s hand. “This is my dad.”

“Nice to meet you.” Winwin waves back. You scoot to the side as Mark walks forward to shake Winwin’s hand, holding Hana in his other one.

“I’m Mark.” He smiles.

“It’s nice to have a family living next door. You two can come to me if you need anything.”

“Oh we’re not together.” You clarify.

“Yeah, I’m just helping them move in.” Mark adds.

“Oh I’m sorry.” He apologises, looking slightly embarrassed. “Still, if you need anything I’m just next door.” Winwin says with a friendly smile before walking off to the right.

“Bye, bye Winwin.” Hana yells.

“Bye, bye Hana.” He replies.

It’s not the first time you and Mark have been mistaken for a couple and it won’t be the last. It’s an easy mistake to make since you have a daughter together.

You’re just about to close the door when Hana jumps down from Mark’s arms and runs outside.

“Uncle Haechan!” She wraps her arms around your friend’s legs in a tight hug.

“Hi Hana!” He ruffles her dark hair cheerily.

“Sorry I’m late.” He looks up to talk to you.

“It’s alright, you can help us unpack.” You tell him as he walks inside.

You spend the next few hours getting everything out of the boxes. You’re very particular about where the two men place yourbelongings. Hana tries to help too, until she gets distracted by a box full of all her toys.

The three of you sit on the sofa exhausted.

“I think after all that hard work, we should get some ice cream.”

“Ice cream!” Hana runs into the living room at Haechan’s mention of a sweet treat, sitting in his lap. He jokingly flinches from her sudden arrival.

“As long as you brush your teeth extra hard tonight.” You instruct while pinching her cheek.

“I’ll drive.” Mark gets his keys out his pocket.

Once everyone is out the door you remind Hana to hold her dad’s hand when she walks down the stairs.

It’s only a short drive to the cafe but Hana can’t wait. The moment you all get seated at the square table she’s holding a spoon in her tiny hand. She starts bouncing in her seat once she catches sight of the tray with your order.

The three of you were very familiar with this cafe. It was your favourite study spot and source of delicious caffeine since your first week of university. You were also familiar with the young entrepreneur who owned it named Yuta.

“Three iced coffees and one ice cream sundae with extra sprinkles.”

“What do we say?” Mark stops her from eating a very large spoonful.

“Thank you Yuta!” Hana chimes before stuffing her face with ice cream.

“You’re very welcome.” He grins.

“Don’t eat it too fast you’ll get a tummy ache.” You warn her softly. Her next spoonful is smaller but she’s just as happy.

“How’s the new place?” Yuta asks you.

“Great, we’ve just finished unpacking. I love my parents but it’s nice for Hana and I to have our own home.”

“It’s a big deal you know, getting your first apartment. I’m really looking forward to lunch tomorrow to celebrate.” Haechan says.

“Yeah it’s going to be nice. I’m glad my mum is taking Hana to buy some things for school.” You add.

“I’m glad I have the day off. It’s great everyone can run this place without me.” Yuta smiles proudly.

“Done!” Hana drops the spoon in the empty bowl, smiling with a ring of ice cream around her mouth.

You pick up a napkin and wipe her face, she fidgets a little as the tissue tickles her nose.

“I think you should use up all that ice cream energy by playing in the park!” Mark says.

“Let’s go! Let’s go!” Hana gets out her seat and walks to Mark’s side of the table, pulling his hand, wanting to go now.

You say goodbye to Yuta and head for the park. It’s a short distance from his cafe, you don’t even have to cross the street.

“Let’s race.” Mark suggests.

“I’m faster than you Dad!” Hana boasts.

You and Haechan count down for them to start. Mark gives Hana a head start before running after her.

“Don’t you think you should have moved in together?” Haechan asks while you two walk leisurely.

“There’s no point, the three of us already spend time together everyday. Plus he’s happy living with Jungwoo.” You explain.

“I’m sure he’d be happier living with his daughter.” He does make a good point.

“Yeah, but they’ve got their whole bachelor pad thing going on.” You say.

“Not really. Mark hasn’t been with anyone since you.”

“Cause he hasn’t had the chance to. It’s been hard on us juggling university, work and raising a child. It’s why we broke up in the first place. I’m sure now life isn’t as intense he’ll find someone.” You respond realistically.

“But would you want that?” He questions.

“Of course I would. We have a great relationship but we’ve both moved on.” You try to put an end to this topic.

“I don’t believe you.” Haechan shakes his head. “I think there’s still something there.”

“Well there’s someone there, Hana. If we did get back together, which we aren’t, think how confusing it would be for her.”

About a year ago you, Mark and Hana were having dinner at your parents house when she piped up with an important question.

“Daddy, why don’t you and Mummy live together like Grandma and Grandpa?”

Having that talk was inevitable and her words left an awkward feeling in the air. But the two of you handled it well, explaining that sometimes mummies and daddies don’t love each other but that’s ok. And that the three of you were still a family even if you didn’t all live together.

“You two have always put her first. But it’s ok to think of what you want as well.” His words stick in your head.

The two of you arrive at the park to see Mark pushing Hana on the swings and Hana yelling “Higher! Higher!”

She spends an hour swinging, running, climbing and spinning around the playground, tiring herself out.

“That’s enough for today.” A very tired Hana doesn’t disagree with her dad and you all walk back to the car.

The car stops when you arrive at the car park of your apartment building. Hana doesn’t leave the car before crawling to the front to give Haechan and Mark a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Bye Dad! Bye Uncle Haechan!” You both wave goodbye before walking inside the building.

After dinner, Hana’s bedtime routine is really easy tonight. After an extra minute of brushing her teeth and changing into her night clothes, she doesn’t even need a story before falling asleep early.

You use this extra grownup time to answer some work emails and start some new show Mark recommended before going off to sleep yourself.

The next morning is easy as well, but in a different way.

Hana is excited to go shopping with Grandma, rushing around her room to get her things, trying to leave as soon as possible. Things don’t go as planned as she wears her dress front to back, puts her shoes on the wrong feet and gets the hiccups after eating her cereal too quickly. She then insists on drinking a glass of water upside down but fails getting water all over herself so she has to change again.

Eventually you do get in the car and drive to you parents’ house. Hana is pleased she can finally start her special day with Grandma.

You’re the last to arrive at the restaurant for your lunch. You greet your friends Haechan, Yuta, Jungwoo, Jaehyun and Mark, then you all enter the restaurant together.

You make small talk while you wait to get seated, saving your news for the week after you’ve ordered at your table.

“Work is running me ragged.” You sigh before taking a sip of your juice. “It was great having a job settled before graduation and the pay is amazing but it’s so stressful.”

“I feel you.” Jungwoo joins in. “They always need you for extra hours since it’s a special project, but once that one’s done there’s always a new one.”

You nod in agreement when your phone vibrates from a message. It’s from your Mum with a picture. “School shopping’s going great but Hana wanted to stop by this cute shop.”

The picture is of Hana grinning while wearing a novelty sunflower hat with her face in the centre. You aww before replying to your Mum, asking her to buy the hat and saying you’ll pay her back.

“Look how cute Hana is!” You pass your phone to Mark and he joins you in talking about how cute your daughter is.

“She really does have your smile.” He says with a soft expression on his face.

“You guys are child-free this afternoon.” Jaehyun reminds you both after Mark passes your phone round for everyone to see Hana’s adorable picture. “Now who wants to hear about my date?”

“How did it go?” Yuta asks.

“Turns out... we’d already met... from uni.”

“Nooo.” Haechan gasps then covers his mouth with his hand. “She’s met fuck boy Jaehyun?”

“She’s met fuck boy Jaehyun.” Jaehyun repeats.“It was going so good as well. But after realising we went to the same school it all clicked together... then fell apart.”

“I always told you your hit it and quit it ways would catch up to you.” You wag your finger at him.

“In my defence, I’m a changed man. I’m no longer ‘fuck boy Jaehyun who hooks up with girls and leaves in the dead of night without a trace’. I’m ‘sophisticated and mature bachelor Jaehyun who isn’t opposed to hooking up after the first date but is very open about his allergy to commitment’.” Jaehyun moves his hands from left to right to explain his transformation.

“Yeah, 6 months will do that to a man.” Mark jokes and everyone laughs “How’s business going?” He turns to Yuta.

“The summer tourists are almost all gone, but with school starting next week the students will be back for their after school and study date coffees.” Yuta says.

“God knows I would not have made it through those 4 years without my coffee.” You laugh and everyone joins in.

  
It’s a lovely afternoon and a lovely meal with your friends. After splitting the check and saying goodbye Mark says he’s going to pick up Hana and her new supplies so you can all prepare her school stuff for tomorrow at your place.

Hana is full of energy. She shows off all the stuff your Mum got her and helps Mark make a checklist by saying items. Mark reads the list back while you help her pack and prepare the items for her school bag.

“See you tomorrow sweet pea.” Mark kisses Hana on the forehead before saying goodbye.

Hana is really restless tonight since she’s so excited. She needs the energy for tomorrow so you’re determined to get her down at a reasonable time. Two stories don’t do the trick then you remember some calm down exercise from a parenting class for soon to be teen parents you and Mark went to when you were pregnant.

You sit down on the floor while Hana lies in her bed and you ask her to imagine with her eyes closed. You go into detail about what will happen on her first day of school, remembering the details from parents and kids school tour and teacher meeting. You ask her to imagine putting her coat and school bag in her locker, placing her pencil case and books at her desk, saying hello to her teacher and making new friends. You’re not sure if it calmed her or bored her to sleep, you’re just happy it worked.

You check your phone and there’s messages from Haechan and your dad. Funnily enough, they’re both asking for pictures of Hana in her school uniform tomorrow. You promise them both that they’ll get some.

You continue the show Mark recommended then go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a little bit hectic but it’s the plan that makes the most sense. Mark will drive here, help you get Hana ready for school, come with you in your car to send Hana off, you’ll drop him off at work then go to work yourself, pick him up, then Hana and come back home to get all the details about her first day of school before going off home himself.

Your alarm rings like clockwork and your plan is set into motion. Mark arrived ten minutes early and Hana is very cooperative with her morning routine, no first day nerves here. The three of you even have enough time for Mark to make pancakes for breakfast. This pumps up Hana even more and is a nice change from your usual disappointingly soft or charcoaled slice of toast with coffee from out a packet.

“Say cheese!” Hana makes a big smile while you and Mark take pictures of her in her new uniform in front of your front door. You both send them to your family and friends before Hana takes each of your hands as you walk to your car.

The drive is fun as you and Mark ask her questions about what she’ll do today. Then the moment finally arrives.

A passing parent is kind enough to take a picture of the three of you in front of the school gate. And it’s time to say goodbye.

“Bye Mum! Bye Dad!” Hana gives you both a quick hug but you’re not ready to let go.

“Have an amazing day sweet pea.” Mark brings himself down for a longer hug.

“We love you so much.” You do the same, then let go.

She gives one last wave before walking through the gates. She blends in with the other children and parents but you can still tell her apart until she walks through the school’s front entrance.

The last 5 years since you found out you were pregnant have had some of the highest highs and lowest lows of your life. But Mark has been there for each of them, he’s been there every single step of the way.

Even with all your planning, nothing could prepare you for the wave of emotions you’d feel. “She’s the one that’s supposed to cry, not me.” You hurriedly grab a pack of tissues from your handbag and take one out to dab at your eyes.

“It’s wonderful to see her growing up, but really hard at the same time.” Mark comforts you. “But we’re doing great.”

“We are.” You agree.


	2. Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone’s socialising and old secrets get spilled.

“How did it go dropping Hana off at school?” Your coworker Taeyong spins around in his chair to face you.

“I cried.” You admit.

“Aww.” He sympathises with you. “To be fair if I had a kid, I’d be crying before they were even born.”

You look around to check there’s no wanderingsupervisors then get your phone out to show Taeyong the picture of Hana.

“She’s adorable.” Taeyong says.

“Yeah, I can’t believe they’re letting me off early today to pick her up from school.”

“It looks good for the company, supporting family values.”

“I wish they’d support family values every day and be more flexible so I could pick her up from school more often.” You sigh.

“I don’t see why we can’t have the option to work from home.” Taeyong agrees.

You nod and chat some more with your work buddy then you both turn back to your desks. Your job for the day is starting a new report so you apply yourself to the tedious task. You chat more with Taeyong at your coffee breaks and lunch hour. He tells you how it went getting his new cat over the weekend.

“Have you thought about a name yet?” You ask.

“Not yet. She’s striped grey on top and white underneath. She was really shy at the shelter but really warmed up to me.” Taeyong shares.

You both look up cute cat names until lunch is over. By the end of the day you’re halfway done with your report. You say goodbye to Taeyong, asking him to send you pictures of his cat, then clock out. 

Your office isn’t too far from Mark’s so you text him that you’ll be over in 5. When you arrive he’s already standing outside so you don’t have to stop in the car park.

“How was your day?” You ask Mark while turning onto the main road.

“It went well. The head of our department liked my presentation.”

“They better have. You worked really hard on it.” You say.

“It wasn’t bad to prepare for, writing up the data was actually a little fun.” He admits.

“You’re such a nerd, you would find fun in pie charts and spreadsheets.” You tease.

“Hey, do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” He says trying to sound wise.

“Sure.” You reply.

The two of you arrive at Hana’s school five minutes before the kids are let out. You wait patiently at the gate with the other parents.

The bell rings and the little kids start coming out of the school. You look around until you spot Hana running out quickly, then notice she’s holding a little boy’s hand and dragging him behind her.

“Hi Dad! Hi Mum!” She lets go of the boy and sprints toward you and Mark.

“Hi sweetie!” You pick her up for a hug.

“How was your first day of school?” Mark asks.

“It was so fun! Mr Moon is really nice, he asked us to talk about our summer so I told the whole class about us going to the beach.”

“Well done!” You praise her.

“And I made lots of new friends and now I have a best friend his name is Hajoon.” Hana points over to the little boy and his very tall father.

“Our kids seem to be getting along quite well.” The dad says after he and his son approach you.

“I’m Johnny.” He stretches his hand out.

“I’m Mark.”

“Y/N.” You both shake his hand.

Hana whispers something into Hajoon’s ear and he nods.

“Can we join Mr Moon’s after school dance club?” They ask you three in unison. Johnny says yes to Hajoon but you ask Hana for more details. She says it starts next Friday at 5pm and is once a week. It doesn’t clash with you or Mark’s schedule so you both agree.

“It was nice meeting you.” You try to leave politely.

“I don’t want to say goodbye yet.” Hana whines. “Can Hajoon come to our house.”

“You’re going to see him tomorrow.” You say.

“How about a special first day of school treat instead?” Mark tries to compromise with your daughter.

You ask Johnny if he’s fine with he and Hajoon coming to Yuta’s cafe and luckily he’s free. The kids go “Yay!” and you show Johnny the address before you go to your cars. 

When Hana and Hajoon see each other outside the cafe they run to each other and hug with such force they fall over. They’re hugging like they’ve been apart for years, not 20 minutes.

Yuta stops cleaning the counter to greet you all. His heart just about melts when he sees Hana linked arm with her new best bud.

“Who’s your friend Hana?”

“This is Hajoon!” The little boy waves after Hana speaks.

The kids order and go to sit by themselves, leaving you three to make small talk. Yuta gets three coffees for all of you and two chocolate milkshakes, a cookie and a brownie for the kids.

“I was worried about Hajoon making friends.” Johnny admits. “He was so shy in nursery.”

“They’re having such a cute little date.” Yuta coos.

“It is not a date.” Mark shuts down that idea real quick.

“I’m just glad they’re getting along.” You smile.

The four of you look over to the kids. Hana breaks her cookie in half and Hajoon halves his brownie. They share their pieces.

There’s no way two sugar filled children would let you leave without going to the playground so that’s your next stop.

The upside to this is they keep each other entertained, running around together. So you three just sit on a bench watching them.

“Hana’s a really confident kid.” Johnny says.

“Yeah, if she wants to do something she just goes for it.” Mark replies.

“Must get it from you two. You’re such a nice couple.”

“We’re not a couple.” You state.

“Shit, my bad. Wait, really? But you get along so well.”

“We’re still good friends.” You say. “But even if we weren’t, it wouldn’t do her any good seeing her parents don’t get on.”

“Wish everyone realised that.” Johnny doesn’t look either of you in the eye when he says that.

You’ve got to go home at some point so you call the kids over and they have that sad puppy dog look on.

“Can we have a play date?” Hajoon asks.

“Maybe next week?” You’re open to the idea.

You and Mark swap numbers with Johnny and your kids say goodbye... until tomorrow of course.

Once you get home it’s time for Hana to start her homework. You and Mark help her out and have a nice family dinner afterwards. Then he leaves for the night and you put Hana to bed. 

The next day is just as nice. You’ve got this school run thing all wrapped up. You’re in the middle of telling Taeyong how Hana’s first day of school went when your phone buzzes.

_ Jaehyun: who wants to go bar hopping? _

_ Jungwoo: it’s a Tuesday _

_ Jaehyun: I mean on Friday ofc _

Mark messages you separate from the group chat.

_ Mark: This is probably a good time to tell you my folks have been wanting Hana over. Could she stay with them this weekend? _

_ You: I’m happy with that. It sounds like Jaehyun has plans for all of us so it works out well. _

You swipe back to the group chat.

_ Mark: I’m down  _

_ You: I’ll be free _

“Would you like to come to some bars with me and my friends this Friday?” You turn your attention to Taeyong.

“Sounds fun, I’d love to come along.” Taeyong is up for it.

_ You: And I’m bringing a friend  _

_ Jaehyun: a boyfriend??? ;)  _

_ You: No, it’s Taeyong from work _

_ Mark: oh cool, he sounds so nice when you talk about him, I’d love to meet him _

By the end of the day all your friends have said they’re in and you spend the rest of the week counting down to Friday.

Mark’s mum comes to pick Hana up in the evening then you start to get ready for the night ahead. You love being a parent but it’s nice to be able to do normal twenty something stuff every so often.

You’re all dressed up when your taxi arrives to take you to the first bar. You’re surprised to see Mark and Taeyong talking but join the conversation smoothly. The rest of your friends, Haechan, Yuta and Jungwoo arrive. Ironically, Jaehyun is the last one there.

“Onward!” He enters the bar and you all follow him.

The time in the first bar is spent integrating Taeyong into the group. Everyone is loosened up at the second bar. By the third bar everyone’s filter is completly gone. That’s when things start to get dangerous.

“What’s your dirtiest secret?” Jaehyun says after barely wincing from his shot.

“You answer first!” Taeyong insists.

“Alright.” Jaehyun settles in his seat. “This one then I went to this girl’s dorm room cause we were supposed to be going on a date. She wasn’t there... but her roommate was. We ended up having a quickie before she came back, then we went on the date after.”

The table explodes into roars of laughter.

“You are such a dog Jaehyun!” You slap his shoulder.

“You act like you’ve never done anything baaad in your life.” He pokes his finger into your arm while slurring his words. “Come on, what’s the dirtiest thing you’ve ever done?”

Your vision is a little blurry but you definitely know that you and Mark share a sleazy look before you speak.

“I’m ninety percent sure Hana was conceived in the back of Mark’s first car.”

Taeyong gasps. Yuta almost falls out his chair laughing. Mark has a sly smirk on his face.

“Oh ew!” Haechan recoils in disgust. “I always slept in the back of that car!” He shoots you and Mark a dirty look.

“Yeah... and so did they laugh.” Jaehyun laughs a bit too hard at his own joke. “I never knew you guys were so freaaaky.”

“What about youuuuuuuta.” You point at him. “What’s your secret?”

“Well.” He straightens up. “I got the money to start my cafe from selling drugs.”

“Really?” Jungwoo looks shocked.

“I sold a looooot of weed in uni.” He admits.

“Weed’s barely a drug anyway.” You brush it off. “It doesn’t matter how you got the money to start. You started your own business and I’m so proud of you.” Your sudden burst of emotion brings you to tears as you trip over nothing trying to give Yuta a hug.

“Hold on there, take it easy.” You can barely walk after the fourth bar so Mark puts your arm over his shoulder and wraps his arm your waist to help you.

“One more! One more!” Jaehyun and Taeyong chant and sway together.You join in, shouting and pumping your free arm up in the air. 

“I think you’ve had enough tonight.” Mark chuckles.

“Whaaaat? I’m fine. Look.” You protest and try to show Mark you’re fine by trying to walk on your own, but you’re already falling before he fully lets go. You’d be on the floor if he didn’t tighten his grip on your waist.

“Maybeee you have a point.” Your face goes warm, but it isn’t because of the alcohol.

You and Mark decide to call it a night and Haechan calls you two a taxi. Mark isn’t happy with you being home alone in this state so you’ll sleep at his and Jungwoo’s place tonight.

“I haven’t seen you this drunk since that one time in uni.” Mark says while he hands you a glass of water and joins you on the couch.

“Yeah that was fun.” You reminisce and have a drink. “Anytime Jaehyun says I’m uptight I’ve got to show him up.”

“See.” You’re about to prove your point. “Any student can get shitfaced on a Friday. But doing it when you’ve got a baby at home? That deserves an award. And I can still chug a beer faster than him.”

“Yeah but you couldn’t go to your parents’ house in that state.”

“You didn’t have to sleep on the floor though. We could have shared your bed. But thank you for always take care of meee.” You nuzzle your face into his shoulder.

“Well, that’s what friends are for.” Mark rubs your back.

“You’re a great friend. And you were a great boyfriend too. I think you’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

“I’m the only boyfriend you’ve ever had!” He laughs.

“Well yeah but like, if I do date again, I’m going to have reaaaaly high standards. And it’s all your fault.” You poke his cheek.

“I’m sure you’ll find someone.” Mark reassures you.

“I don’t think I’m ready to find someone else.” You say. “Sometimes...” You hesitate before finishing your sentence. “I feel like we’d still be together if I didn’t ruin everything and get pregnant.”

“Don’t say that!” Mark comforts you. “We were both being unsafe. But you gave me the sweetest most beautiful little girl and I’ll always be grateful for that. And even though we’re not together, I’m so glad you’re still in my life.”

“You’re so nice to me.” You smile and lay in the couch across his lap.

The next morning you’re greeted with a splitting headache and a boatload of worry as you can’t remember all the embarrassing things you did last night.

You groan as you get up and shuffle into the kitchen. Mark greets you as he stands there eating a bowl of cereal.

“There should be some painkillers in there.” He points to a cupboard. You thank him and get the pills, gulping them down with the rest of last night’s water.

“Did I say or do anything stupid last night?” Part of you doesn’t want to know the answer.

“I mean we were all rowdy at the bars but you were fine once we got home.” He says.

“And I didn’t say anything stupid to you?” You ask specifically.

“Nope. Well nothing too bad.” Mark doesn’t look you in the eye when he says that.

You’re doubtful, but he’s probably just sparing your feelings.


	3. Unexpected Circumstances & Surprising Situations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things just can’t seem to go right but you and Mark try your best to make it work.

“So you went home with Mark? Interesting.” Haechan takes a sip of his piping hot coffee.

“It wasn’t like that.” You brush him off. “He didn’t want to leave me alone. I didn’t do anything stupid.At least, I hope not.”

“Very interesting.” He takes an even longer sip and you roll your eyes.

“So what happened after we left?”

“Well, we went to the next bar. Yuta and Jaehyun left with these two girls.” Your eyes widen.

“Relax. They took us to this club.” Yuta clears it up, walking past your table.

“Me, Jungwoo and Taeyong went to some karaoke place. Then everyone went home.”

“I feel bad about leaving Taeyong behind.” You say.

“Don’t worry about it, we had fun. He’s such a nice guy.” Haechan replies.

You chat with Haechan until it hits midday. The rest of your day is free so you use your time practically and go to the supermarket.

Stocking up for the week, you walk past a shelf full of some new cereal that Hana would have begged for. When you leave, you call Mark’s mum using the Bluetooth in your car.

“I’m having lots of fun with Grammie and Pop-Pop!” Hana speaks enthusiastically.

“That’s good sweetie, I miss you.” You reply.

“Don’t worry Mum, I’ll be back soon.” She cheers you up cutely.

You store all the food in your kitchen then get stuck on what to do again. It’s really lonely without Hana. You entertain yourself with some movies and snacks, before going to sleep.  
  


Sunday couldn’t have dragged on any longer. You sort through your clothes, do some light cleaning around the apartment, go for a run and do some online shopping. But finally, Mark’s dad drops off Hana in the evening and you’re reunited with your little girl.

She tells you all about her weekend. How she helped Grammie in the garden and made spaghetti with Pop-Pop. They even went to the mall and got her a new doll.

You listen intently as she tells you all this during dinner and while getting ready for bed. Then the day draws to a close.

The sound of rhythmic ringing wakes you up. It’s your phone.

“Yes. Alright. Ok, I’ll be there.” You end the call.

Shit.

Your supervisor just told you that a last minute meeting has been organised. They need you to come in an hour early.

You jump out bed and text Mark in a panic. Luckily he can take Hana to school but won’t be here for a while. You explain what’s going on to her as you hurriedly get her and yourself ready for the day.

But who could watch her before Mark gets here? Your neighbour.

You leave Hana content on the couch with some cereal and a morning cartoon then head next door.

Winwin opens the door after you knock.

“Hi, I know this is a lot to ask but my boss needs me to come in to work early. Would you be able to watch Hana for a little bit? Her dad will be here to take her to school in 20 minutes tops.”

“That’s such a shame that they gave you no notice.” Winwin sympathises with you. “I’d be happy to help you out.”

“Thank you so much!” You quickly bring Hana to his door and say goodbye.

The meeting is nowhere as important as your supervisor made it out to be. You barely even pay attention as anger bubbles inside you.

“We had to come in early for that?!” You rant to Taeyong while getting a sandwich from the vending machine.

“I know.” He rubs his eyes tiredly. “Jellybean was so sad to see me go.”

“I like that name for her, it’s cute!” You say.

“I think Mark thought of it.” He remembers.

“Sorry for ditching you on Friday by the way.”

“Don’t worry about it, your friends are so fun. Karaoke was great too, Haechan can really sing.” Taeyong smiles.

Your phone begins to buzz in your hand. It’s Mark.

“What’s up?” You answer.

“Can I bring Hana to your apartment after school? There’s a situation at me and Jungwoo’s place.” He asks.

“That’s fine, there’s a spare key under the welcome mat. What happened?” You ask.

“A pipe’s burst, the whole place is flooded. My boss let me leave for the rest of theday to handle it. I’ve just been seeing what I can save.”

“That’s awful.” You say sadly.

“Don’t worry about it. Jungwoo’s just happy I made us pay extra for insurance.” He plays around.

“Where are you guys going to stay?” You worry.

“Jungwoo’s going to stay with a friend, I’ll be with my parents.” He tells you the plan.

“But your parents’ place is so far away from your job. Your commute will take ages.” You say in a concerned tone.

“It’ll only be for a little bit.” He shrugs it off.

“Why don’t you stay with me and Hana?” You suggest.

“Don’t worry about me.” He tries to decline politely.

“I insist, just get your stuff before you pick up Hana and you can sort it out in the living room.” You persuade him.

“Ok, I’ll come stay. Thank you.” You can tell Mark is smiling by the tone he speaks in.

When you walk in your apartment and enter the living room you see Hana colouring on the floor and Mark organising his things.

They both say hello and you join Mark on the couch.

“Hana come here.” You pat the space in between you and Mark for her to sit in.

“Something happened to your Dad and Jungwoo’s place, so he’s going to be staying with us.” You explain.

“Like a sleepover? Yay!” She bounces excitedly.

“Yeah, like a sleepover.” Mark repeats and ruffles her hair.

Hana is even happier when the three of you make dinner together and you and Mark read her a story at bedtime.

“Goodnight, sweet pea.” Mark says before kissing her on the cheek and leaving the room.

“How long will it take to fix everything?” You ask while helping him store his stuff.

“The water really messed everything up. It was like, this high.” He gestures just below his knee. “I’m thinking a month minimum. But I can leave way before then.”

“You can stay here until everything’s sorted, don’t worry about it.” You reassure him.

“Thanks again.” He smiles kindly.

The two of you sit on the couch once you’ve put everything away.

“I’ve been going around in a soaked shirt all day.” Mark sighs.

He unbuttons the smart, white work shirt, rolling the sleeves off his toned arms.

You look longer than you should, but hope he doesn’t notice.

“That must have been uncomfortable.” You say, trying very hard not to look down.

He picks up some clothes and goes into the the bathroom to get ready for bed. You go to change in your room.

“So I’ll be sleeping on the couch?” He asks.

“No, you’ll hurt your back! We can share my bed.” You decide.

“You sure?” He wants to confirm.

“Yeah. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.” You remind him.

“That’s true.” He chuckles.

You both settle into bed together. Mark has his glasses on and is reading a book in the light of the lamp on your bedside cabinet. You’re playing a puzzle game on your phone.

Mark places the book on the cabinet, then puts his glasses on top of it, before turning to you.

“So, how did that meeting go?” He asks you.

“Oh, it wasn’t important at all. I barely paid attention, I was so mad.” You get angry just thinking about it.

“It was shitty of them to pull that.” Mark agrees.

“Yeah, but Winwin really saved my ass. We should go over there to say thanks.” You plan.

“I can get a gift basket during my break.” Mark offers to help.

So that’s what you do the next day. After putting Hana to bed, the two of you knock on Winwin’s door, gift in hand.

“Hello.” Winwin opens the door with a friendly smile.

“Hi, we just want to say thank you for watching Hana yesterday.” You give him the present.

“Don’t worry about it. You were put in a difficult position.” Winwin shakes his hand, brushing it off.

“We really appreciate your help.” Mark adds.

“Please, come in.” Winwin invites both of you inside his apartment.

You’re sat waiting when Winwin comes out from the kitchen and places 2 glasses on the coffee table

“Have some juice.” He says while filling the glasses.

“What’s your job like?” Winwin asks.

“Well, it’s work. It’s a well respected company so hopefully it will open a lot of opportunities for me in the future. But right now, it feels like they demand a lot from me.”

You take a sip before continuing.

“They have this programme for hiring university graduates. I did some work experience with them during my last year of study and they asked me to come on permanently after graduation. Having a job straight out of school was great, but since it’s my first professional role, I think they take advantage of me.” You share.

“That’s a difficult position to be in.” Winwin says. “You want to be grateful for having a ‘good’ job but you’re not being valued or respected.”

“What do you do?” Mark leans in.

“Well, I’m a dancer.” Winwin reveals.

“Wow, that must be so free!” Mark shows interest.

“Yeah, it’s mostly gig based work. Sometimes I’m a back up dancer for a singer’s performance. Sometimes I’m teaching a dance class. I enjoy it and it pays the bills... most of the time.” You and Mark laugh at his joke.

“If you ever need anything I’d be more than happy to repay the favour. Just give a text or come next door.” You give Winwin your number before saying goodbye.

The next day you’re at Yuta’s having a coffee with your friends in the evening. Hana is busy colouring while you, Mark, Haechan, Jungwoo and Jaehyun talk.

“You haven’t had a housewarming party yet, have you?” Jaehyun realises.

“I’ve been super busy.” You explain.

“It doesn’t have to be a big thing. You could just have a small get together.” Jungwoo suggests.

“That would be fun.” Yuta pipes in while on his way to serve another table.

“And you could get lots of gifts.” Haechan adds.

“I’ll consider it.” You give your final verdict.

On Friday you go to Hana’s school straight from work to see how her first dance class goes.

You walk into the hallway outside the gym and can hear the sound of energetic music and Hana’s teacher giving the kids instructions.

Mark saved you a seat with the other parents so you sit with him and join his conversation with Johnny.

“Hajoon is really looking forward to having Hana over.” Johnny smiles cheerfully.

“Thanks again for inviting us.” You say.

“It’ll be fun for the kids.” Mark adds.

“But don’t worry, I’ll make sure there’s something for us to do too.” Johnny assures the two of you.

The doors of the gym burst open and kids run happily to their parents now that class is over. Hana’s teacher, Taeil walks out behind.

You and Mark greet Hana while Johnny ruffles Hajoon’s hair lovingly. Then Taeil begins to speak.

“There will be letters coming home next week but I’d like to share this myself as well. The annual autumn fair is coming up soon to raise money for disadvantaged kids. If any parents would like to help, please come speak to me after school.”

The three of you show interest and make a note of the event before going home.   
  


You think that Hana is sleeping soundly while you have your scheduled bedtime conversation with Mark. But with so much energy running through her little body, you know she’s prone to restless nights. Hana is really enjoying having her dad around all the time, and this evening she seems to have caught wind of your sleeping situation.

“I want to sleep here tonight!” Hana bursts through the door, story book in hand. She crawls under the covers and appears in between the two of you. You and Mark look down at your lively little daughter then smile at each other. 

Mark picks up his glasses again and starts to read Hana’s book. You stroke her hair while Mark soothes her to sleep.

“I wish Dad was here all the time.” She mumbles before falling asleep. A blue look settles on Mark’s face, but he simply takes his glasses off, wraps his arm around Hana and kisses her on the temple. You can feel your heart break a little.

You try not to think too hard about her wordsand go to sleep. 

The next morning, Hana is no longer in the middle of you and Mark. But Mark’s arm is now around you. A smile falls on your face when you realise and you look at him. 

He looks so peaceful sleeping. His eyelashes flutter gently and his lips part ever so slightly.

But then, Hana makes her presence known. “Wake up! Wake up! We have to go to Hajoon’s house!” She bounces on the foot of the bed.

Mark jolts awake at her actions and realises what he’s doing. You feel an absence of warmth when he takes his arm away.

“I’m sorry!” He apologises quickly.

“It’s fine.” You brush it off.

“Let’s go! Let’s go!” Hana starts jumping again.

“We still have...” You check your phone. “Five hours.”

“But we can get ready now.” Hana pouts.

You’re not sure if Mark is just giving in to Hana’s plea, or he still feels embarrassed by his actions and doesn’t want to be around you, but he jumps out of bed eagerly to help Hana get ready.

You sigh and slink under the covers. With Mark taking care of Hana, you take your time getting ready this morning.

When you’re clean and dressed you enter the living room where Mark is sitting with Hana. Her favourite cartoon is on TV and she’s sat on the floor, having abandoned her half eaten bowl of cereal for a game on her tablet.

“Finish your food first.” You tell her and she puts down the tablet and starts eating, giving her attention to the other screen. Mark leaves to have his turn in the shower without saying a word.

You go in the kitchen to find something to eat, settling for a cup of instant coffee and a stale muffin.

Should you tell someone? No, you and Mark share all your friends, that would be a bad idea. If you told Haechan you’d never hear the end of it, you really don’t want him to be right. You didn’t think it was a big deal but it seems to be really affecting Mark.

“I should just talk to him.” You decide out loud, leaving your cup on the counter, and walk to your bedroom.

You knock to make your presence known before entering. Mark is sitting on the bed so you join him.

“Are we okay?” You test the waters.

You can feel the tenseness radiating off him.

“I’m sorry.” He blurts out. “I feel like I’ve crossed a line. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You reassure him. “It was an accident.”

“So we’re good?” He asks.

You place a hand on his shoulder and nod.

When the two of you enter the living room together, Hana excitedly shows you her new high score on the game she’s been playing.

Eventually it’s time to go. You walk past Winwin on your way down to the car park so you greet each other. Hana joyfully tells him her plans for today.

“I hope you have lots of fun.” Winwin says cheerfully before making his way to his apartment.

In the car you enter the address Johnny gave you into a navigation app on your phone, placing it in the holder attached to your windscreen.

Hana lists all the fun things she could do with Hajoon today as you drive. As you get closer, you notice you’ve entered a very rich neighbourhood, with a number of high-end houses.

You and Mark exchange a shocked glance when you arrive at your final destination, a luxurious looking townhouse.

Hana seems unfazed, she stands on her tippy toes to press the button of the buzzer at the gate.

“It’s Hana!” She yells into the speaker and the gate unlocks.

Once again, she presses the doorbell at the front door. You’re not sure what his official role is, but a man you’d call a butler opens the door.

“We’ve been expecting you.” He greets politely. Hana says hello and waves at the man. He waves back slowly and lets you in.

The front room is spectacular, looking more like the reception at a five star hotel. The sparkling crystal chandelier ties the stylish room all together.

“Woah.” You and Mark keep your composure but Hana’s mouth is left open as she looks around.

“Hana!” Her dear friend rushes down the stairs.

“I’ve told you not to run down the stairs.” Johnny tells his son, following not far behind him, but can’t help but smile as the two children giggle and hug.

“Your house is huge!” You quickly shush Hana for her careless comment.

“Let’s go to my playroom, I want to show you all my toys.” Hajoon takes Hana’s hand, Johnny is about to warn him again about running on the stairs but his son remembers and takes his time, holding the railing with his free hand.

So it’s just the three of you. You and Mark sit in silence, not wanting to be rude but really wanting Johnny to address the very wealthy elephant in the room.

“Would you like a tour?” He breaks the ice.

If this place looked fancy from the outside, it’s one hundred times more fancy on the inside. There’s seven bedrooms, a very well stocked kitchen and pantry, two dining rooms, three living rooms, a colourful playroom for Hajoon, a study, a gym, a garage in the basement, an indoor and outdoor pool, a swanky patio, a garden with enough things to play on that it could be a public playground and even a small sauna. Johnny also employs small army of staff in his house, a butler, two housekeepers, two security guards, a gardener and a driver.

You’re currently in Johnny’s study. Mark’s having a look at some of the books on his shelves while you’re looking through the window, seeing the kids play in the garden.

One of the housekeepers enters the room holding silver tray containing a very expensive looking bottle of wine and three shining glasses. She fills the cups before quietly leaving.

“Care for a drink?” Johnny offers.

“No thank you I’m driving today.” You explain.

“I’m good.” Mark also declines.

“More for me.” Johnny chuckles before taking a swig. “I’ll give you a bottle before you leave, this is some good stuff.”

“That’s very kind of you.” Mark says.

You’re watching the kids play in the garden through the window, when you notice a young woman joining them.

“Who’s that?” Johnny walks beside you to look out and see what you mean.

“That’s Hajoon’s nanny, Madison. She came here from abroad. I’m very busy with work these days so I need her to help drop him off and pick him from school or help with his schoolwork. She’s a sweet young lady, she’s been helping take care of Hajoon since he was three, he’s very fond of her.” Johnny explains before having another sip.

“Almost like she’s her mother.” He mutters this lowly but you and Mark still hear.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly do you do?” Mark inquires curiously.

“Well I’m very I’m involved in the family business. My dad founded Seo Industries.”

“Wow really?!” Mark can’t hold back his shock. “That’s amazing, you’re the best in the game!” Mark fanboys.

“I’d like to know, why didn’t you enroll Hajoon in a private school?” You ask.

“I went to private school all my life and I hated it. Everyone had a stick up their ass and acted like they were better than everyone else, just because Mummy and Daddy gave them a credit card. It’s why I went so buck wild in university.” Johnny nudges Mark with his elbow jokingly.

“Hajoon is getting to that age where he’s realising his home life is different from other kids. I want him to have access to lots of great opportunities, but I don’t want him to be spoiled as well. It’s a very difficult balance to make sometimes.” He admits.

“Well you’re doing a great job.” You reassure him. “Hajoon is so polite and kind.”

“I’m doing the best I can.” He states.

The three of you continue to talk, specifically going back to uni party stories. Johnny shares more crazy times and you all laugh. You can count the amount of times you went wild in university on one hand. But the time in first year you showed Jaehyun you weren’t a square is your favourite so you tell that.

“It’s nice that you two always have each other’s backs.” Johnny smiles while swirling around his third glass of wine.

The butler enters the room with something to say. “Dinner is ready. Madison has already brought the children to the table so they’re ready to eat when you are.”

Johnny leads you to the dining room and you join Madison and the kids for dinner.

There’s a delicious spread on the table, lots of food complete with another bottle of wine and fruit juice for the kids. Each place is neatly decorated with polished porcelain plates and shining cutlery. 

You eat quietly, with Hajoon, Hana and Madison finishing their food first. After her meal, Hana has a question to ask.

“Is Madison your Mum?” Mark drops his fork on the plate with a clang, shocked at Hana having no filter.

“Nooo.” Hajoon laughs. “She’s my nanny.”

“Oh. What’s a nanny?” Hana questions.

“She takes care of me when my dad is busy. She plays with me and helps me with my homework and reads me stories.” Hajoon explains matter of factly.

“Oh. So where’s your Mum?” Your shoot Hana a glare for asking such a rude question but she doesn’t seem to notice.

“She doesn’t live with us.” Hajoon fiddles with his fingers, looking down.

“That’s like my Mum and Dad. Well until now, but that’s only because my dad’s house is full of water and everything smells.” Hajoon looks up after Hana speaks.

“See sometimes Mummies and Daddies don’t love each other so they don’t always live together. But it’s ok because they still love us very very much.” Hana explains boldly.

“Yeah!” Hajoon pipes up. “My Mummy doesn’t live with us and I don’t see her a lot but I know that she loves me.” He nods. A glassy look falls over Johnny’s eyes.

“Hajoon, Hana. Why don’t we go do some painting?” Madison tries to break the tension by taking the kids away and they follow her out the door.

“You know, I really admire you guys.” Johnny’s voice cracks a little. “No matter how you feel about each other, you never let it get in the way of taking care of Hana.” He shifts out his seat, grabs the unopened bottle of wine and leaves the room.

You and Mark share a worried look and go after him, giving Johnny some space but following him. 

The two of you find him on the patio, leaning on the railing drinking straight from the bottle and gazing into the dark night sky with a lost look on his face.

“I tried to do the right thing.” He murmurs. “I really did. When you fuck up and get a girl pregnant you’re supposed to get married. That’s what you do. You be responsible.”

“My grandparents had the same idea.” Mark shares his story. “But Y/N and I had only been together for six months, it wasn’t right for us.”

“A child and a relationship don’t always go together.” You try to comfort him.

“But it’s what my dad wanted. ‘Think how it would look. It would be such a scandal.’ And I felt bad, she had to quit university because of me. So I tried to be responsible. I did what my dad wanted. I started taking the family business more seriously. I married her. And it still didn’t work out.” He finishes with another drink.

“I still have to give you guys your bottle.” Johnny changes the subject and rushes off to the kitchen and you and Mark follow after him again.

You find him in the pantry holding the bottle.

“This is a really nice Bordeaux.” His smile doesn’t hide the redness in his eyes or the tears streaming down his cheeks. Both these things are very clear under the surgically white light of the pantry.

Johnny stumbles walking towards you two and the bottle falls to the floor, shattering into green shards and leaking red wine everywhere.

“No don-“ Mark tries to stop Johnny from trying to pick up the pieces but it’s too late. He pulls his hand back quickly when the glass pierces his palm and laughs breathlessly as his left hand begins to bleed. He slumps to the ground, leaning his lanky body on the cupboard, sitting next to the accident.

“That’s what I do. I ruin everything.

You have to believe me, I really tried. I gave her everything but I wasn’t perfect. I was emotionally distant but I barely knew the girl. 

Maybe I overwhelmed her, it was too much for her.

She can hate me all she wants but she shouldn’t take it out on him. It’s not fair on Hajoon. I’ve never stopped her from seeing him but she won’t spend time with him because of me.

If I wasn’t such a fuck up he would have a relationship with his mother, instead of seeing her three times a year.” Johnny breathes heavily through gritted teeth, no longer holding back as his tears fall freely.

Before you or Mark can say a word Madison starts to talk from the kitchen.

“Ok, the kids are busy. That was so awkward at dinner.” She stops joking when she walks through the door and sees Johnny on the floor.

Madison rushes past the glass and kneels beside Johnny, taking his injured palm in her hands.

“What happened?” She asks with concern.

“I’m very clumsy.” Johnny tries to joke but it falls flat, he sounds empty. He tries to pick up the glass again but she stops him.

“Don’t worry about that. I’m going to patch you up and get you a glass of water, then you’re going to go to bed. Ok?” Johnny nods at her soothing words and pulls himself up. The four of you leave the room.

“There’s been an accident in the pantry. A broken bottle of wine. Could you clean it up please?” Madison asks a housekeeper tidying up around the kitchen. She’s about to get the things to clean up when Madison stops her. “And could you bring a first aid kit to Mr Seo’s room when you’re done?” The housekeeper nods and heads off.

“I’ve told you, you can call me Johnny.” He mumbles.

“I’m sorry, force of habit.” She smiles a little. “Now you go off to bed.” Johnny follows her instruction and goes to his room.

“I’ll take you where Hana and Hajoon are.” She addresses you and Mark. She leads you to Hajoon’s playroom and opens the door.

“Mum! Dad! Look what I painted!” Hana shows both of you her very... abstract painting of a flower.

“That looks great sweet pea!” Mark praises her.

“Where’s Dad?” Hajoon asks Madison.

“He’s very tired so he’s gone to bed early. You should be going to bed too!” She wags her finger teasingly. “Now let’s get cleaned up.”

Madison takes you all to a bathroom so Hana and Hajoon can clean their hands and faces. Hana holds her painting proudly as you walk back to the front room.

“Now say goodnight to Hana.” Hajoon’s nanny instructs.

“Thank you for coming!” Hana and Hajoon hug one last time.

“Thank you for letting me come to your house.” Hana thanks her friend cheerfully.

“He’ll show you out.” Madison addresses the butler. “Have a nice night.” She says goodbye.

The butler also wishes you a good evening as he opens the gate for you to leave.

You and Mark act normal asking Hana about all the fun she had today, but you know you’re both thinking about what you witnessed.

You’re at the park the next day, sitting with Mark while Hana runs and squeals “You can’t catch me Uncle Haechan!” As your friend chases after her.

Your phone buzzes melodically, you’re getting a call from Johnny. You answer it and hold the phone in between you and Mark.

“I’d just like to apologise for the way I acted last night. I was really out of order.”

“Don’t worry about it.” You reassure him.

“How are you feeling?” Mark asks.

“My head hurts like crazy and my hand is sore, but I’ve been worse.” He chuckles.

“I hope it’s ok for me to say this.” You tread carefully with your next topic. “But have you ever considered family therapy? You must be worried about Hajoon but it could help you get some things off your chest too.”

There’s silence for a bit and you start to worry you’ve gone too far but he speaks up.

“That’s a good idea, I’ll look into it.” Johnny agrees and you feel relieved.

“You will get that bottle eventually, I promise!” He jokes.

“Are you coming to the meeting Hana’s teacher is holding for the autumn fair tomorrow?” Mark changes topics.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” Johnny confirms. “Thank for coming.” He says.

“Thank you for having us.” Mark replies and you end the call.

The next day, Mark tells you what happened during the meeting when you come home that evening.

“There weren’t that many parents. Excluding me and Johnny there were two other parents.”

“That’s awful!” You say sadly. “It’s for such an important cause.”

“To be fair, it is a big time commitment.” Mark understands.

“I’m going to ask around to see who can help.” You get your phone out and start sending messages.

The next evening you’ve managed to get all your friends to Yuta’s to make a plan. Taeil okayed you getting your friends for back up, replying to your email that afternoon. His only ask was if he could join in your discussion.

Hana and Hajoon are sat taking turns playing a game on her tablet. Meanwhile you, Mark, Haechan, Jaehyun, Jungwoo, Johnny, Yuta, Taeyong and Taeil are forming a strategy.

“I could run an outdoor cafe.” Yuta suggests first.

“Me and Jungwoo could do a raffle.” Haechan gives his idea.

“I could do a dunk tank with Hajoon.” Johnny says.

The ideas keep on coming and Taeil writes them all down. He speaks to everyone at the end of the night.

“Thank you all for your help. It’s my first time being in charge of the autumn fair and I was worried it wouldn’t hold this year. But, thanks to you, it’s looking like this will be one of the best years yet!” He shows his gratitude.

As you all exit the cafe, Taeil addresses you specifically. “Thanks for getting all your friends together, this year’s fair is going to be amazing because of you.”

“I’m just happy I could help.” You smile.


	4. Will They Won’t They?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the Autumn Fair go well?  
> Will Hana and Mark tell you what they’ve been working on?  
> Will you and Mark get closer than you should?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update :)

Helping with the autumn fair is a new priority for you. Even when you’re having your long-overdue housewarming party.

The low bass of the speakers vibrates throughout the whole apartment, the sounds of conversation grows quiet the closer you get to the door.

You greet Hajoon and Johnny, the last guests to arrive. Hana takes Hajoon to her room to show off her toys and Johnny gives you a housewarming gift.

“Told you I’d get that bottle of wine.” Johnny grins warmly and you show him to the living room.

Johnny starts a conversation with Jaehyun and Yuta near the window as you walk to the kitchen.

“Excuse me guys.” You ask Haechan and Mark to move away from the fridge, feeling the cold chill on your skin as you open it to store the bottle.

“That’s everyone here now.” You turn to face them, both leaning against the countertop.

“I’m so tired.” You whine and join them, leaning your head on Haechan’s shoulder.

“You have been doing a lot.” He pats your back.

“How’s your stall going?” You ask.

“We’re almost done, got all the gifts sorted. But we still need something for the grand prize.”

“Yeah, it has to be something that draws everyone in.” Mark tilts his head slightly, thinking.

“Are you going to tell me what you and Hana are doing for the fair?” You give him your attention.

“Nope.” He shakes his head. “It’s a confidential Daddy-Daughter secret.”

It was easy for Mark and Hana to work on their stall secretly since you came home from work late, but that didn’t stop them from acting all cute and secretive.

Hana would constantly ask Mark to crouch down so she could whisper in his ear. Or shoo you out her room so she could plan with her dad.

“Is it going well?” You jokingly pester him.

“Yup, don’t worry about it. We’re gonna do great.” Mark gives you a thumbs up and a playful wink.  
  
But a party has to have its host so you go back to the living room. You’re on your feet for most of the night, talking to your friends, getting snacks and drinks and cleaning up messes.  


You’re so busy that you almost don’t notice someone tapping your shoulder when you’re in the hallway.

“Oh hey.” You stop and face Mark.

“Just wanted to give you your housewarming present.” He grins.

“You didn’t have to get me anything! You already help me out so much.” You gush.

“Well I still wanted to get you something.”He puts the wrapped rectangular gift in your hands.

You tear at the paper to reveal a silver frame with an old picture inside it; you holding Hana at the beach, she was so small back then. The waves just about to hit the shore in the background and the orangey glow of the sun setting. 

The memories of that day come back to you. Hana’s tiny footprints in the sand as she ran from the water’s edge into your arms. Mark trying to build a sandcastle with her, but she decided pouring sand on his head was much more fun. Her trying to feed you both sand from her bucket as you ate sat on a blanket. Yeah, she really loved sand back then. 

“Aww, thank you. That was such a lovely you day.”  
You wrap your arms around his neck and enjoy that familiar feeling of Mark holding you in his arms. With your eyes closed you take in the familiar scent of his cologne, much better than the immature body spray he always wore when you first met.

When you open your eyes, they meet with Haechan. He’s smirking at you through the living room door, continuing his conversation with Jungwoo.

You smile at him over Mark’s shoulder. And flip him off with your free hand.

“Where’s your present?” You ask Haechan teasingly at the end of the night. He’s the last guest left, helping you, Mark and Hana clean up in the living room.

“Well, since I figured the happy couple would get so many things.” You roll your eyes. “I thought I’d get something for Hana.”

Her ears practically prick up at hearing about a present for her. “For me?”

Haechan takes a small envelope out of his jacket pocket and Hana runs to his side.

“Don’t spend it all in one place.” He kneels down to give her the gift. “Well actually, you can’t really spend it anywhere else.”

Hana rips open the envelope, impatiently excited. After the tiny bits of paper fall on the floor, all that’s left in her hand is a blue gift card with a teddy bear logo.

“What does it say?” She questions him, her mouth making a little ‘o’ in confusion.

“Build-a-Bear.” He makes it clear to her.

“I can go make a teddy bear?!” The ‘o’ she makes with her mouth turns into a big shining smile.

“Mum! Dad! Let’s go to Build-a-Bear!” She waves the card over at you and Mark triumphantly.

“Thank you Uncle Haechan!” He opens his arms just before Hana makes impact with a big hug to show her thanks.

It’s a nice gesture, you really appreciate what Haechan did. The only downside was that Hana won’t stop asking when you can go.

In the car, after her dance lesson, at the cafe, at the park, before she goes to sleep, first thing when she wakes up.

The only thing that takes her mind off it is her secret project with Mark. But now it’s day of the fair, you wondered what you can use to distract her.

They even make you go in the car first so you can’t catch a glimpse of what they’ve been working on as Mark loads the boxes in the trunk.

“You’ll see soon, Mum.” Hana giggles whilst you drive to get school, an irregular journey on a Saturday morning.

Seeing as you’re one of the organisers, it makes sense that you and your family are the first to arrive on the school sports field.

Taeil greets you and shows Mark where he and Hana can set up, then you join him in making sure everything is set up properly.

Answering questions and making calls, you watch as the humble school field turns into a fair ground. Upbeat music sets a jovial mood and twinkling lights connect all the stalls together.

“We’ve got that grand prize sorted.” Jungwoo informs you when you check up on his and Haechan’s booth. It’s filled with an assortment of gifts with something for everyone. And numbered tickets that will determine who gets what.

“Where is it?” You’re yet to see an item that screams grand prize.

“Over there.” Haechan points over to Yuta’s outdoor cafe, where the owner and Winwin are sat chatting on the outdoor furniture.

“I don’t think slavery is very family friendly.”

“No.” He tuts. “He’s going to give free dance lessons.”

“Ah, that makes more sense. Great idea actually.” You admit.

All the kids here really do love to dance. You remember Taeil saying he needs to start another session, the kids dance class was getting that popular. But he needs a different teacher as Friday evenings were the only time he could come.

“I know.” He nods his head proudly.

Your phone started to buzz in your hand. Everything was running on schedule so you silently prayed an emergency hadn’t appeared thirty minutes before the fair was supposed to open.

Nope. Just Mark.

“Me and Hana are done setting up. You can come over now.” He tells you over the phone.

So you do just that. Amazed at how the basic booth was now decorated with pink flowers placed all around and how it all softly sparkled.

“We’re selling fairy dust!” Hana pops up with awoven basket full of glitter in tiny tule bags, wrapped with iridescent ribbon. She’s wearing a striped blue and pink costume dress, with a sunflower flower crown. Tying it all together is a pair of pink fairy wings, that match with Mark’s.

“Oh sweetie you look so pretty!” You coo as your daughter twirls around.

“In your  _ brand new _ dress.” You shake your head and look up at Mark.

“It was a very important business purchase.” He defends with crossed arms jokingly.

“These as well?” You tug lightly at his left wing.

“Me and Dad are matching!” Her wings flutter as she jumps up and down excitedly.

“But we won’t tell you how we make the fairy dust. It’s super secret.” She folds her arms cutely.

“I guess it’s just magic.” You smile, tucking a runaway strand of hair behind her ear.

The fair begins and honestly? This is the easy part. With all the organisation done, all you and Taeil have to do is shadow the booths and check how the fundraising is going.

It’s also a great opportunity to get to know your daughter’s first teacher. He’s the newest and youngest member of the school faculty and really loves his job. Such a cheerful and gentle guy, it’s no wonder Hana adores him so much. And on top of his busy schedule he still makes time to help out with extracurricular activities.

Everything’s going to plan, Jungwoo and Haechan are selling lots of tickets with Winwin(‘s dance lessons) as their grand prize. Jellybean’s jelly beans is a hit and a chance for Taeyong to show off cute pictures of his cat. You thought Jaehyun’s idea of a ring toss was classic and it seems to have caught the interest of some kids...and a lot of mothers.

Yuta treats you two to complimentary milkshakes and slices of carrot cake at the outdoor cafe. It’s a lovely set up and has a cozy ambience with all the families grabbing something to eat.

“I can’t believe we’re already halfway through. You should go have some fun with Hana and Mark.” Taeil insists.

“You sure?” He nods his head.

“Aww thank you.” You say happily.

“No, thank you for your help.” He smiles back.

You call Mark and he agrees to close the booth for a bit and meet you with Hana at Johnny and Hajoon’s booth.

“Hi Hajoon! Hi Madison!” Hana says hello and you’re surprised to see Hajoon’s nanny again.

“I didn’t fancy seeing you here.” You admit to her.

“Oh I love school fairs, they’re so fun!” The younger woman chimes bubbly.

“You been dunked yet?” Mark taps on the large half filled plastic cylinder where Johnny sits perched like a fish out of water.

“Twice. But so many people have tried, I still think I’m winning.” The way his voice echoes from within the plastic prison makes you laugh. He looks bone dry, not a droplet of water on his body or goggles.

“I want to try! I want to try!” So you give Madison some money and Hajoon gives Hana three baseballs.

She tries hard, a strong look of concentration on her face, but her throws either aren’t hard enough to activate the mechanism or aimed well enough to hit the target.

“I’ll give it a go.” You hand Madison some more money and Hajoon gives the balls to you.

Now you’re much better than Hana, but overestimated your ability. Throwing the ball too low, then too high, then not using enough power to get it to the target.

“You want to give it a go, Mark?” Johnny suggests from inside the tank.

“I’m good, man.” Mark declines.

“Will your wings get in the way?” Johnny’s teasing, even with it’s silly echo, must have touched a nerve as Mark walks over to give Madison some money and collect the baseballs.

“Alright.” He says in a low tone.

He has a deep look of concentration on his face. Eyebrows furrowed and jaw locked, it’s a look you’re sure you’ve seen before, but in a much different context.

The first throw just whooshes by the target, but you can tell it’s full of power.

Mark learns from this and winds his arm up before doing his second throw. This time he’s got it spot on and Johnny is plunged into the ice cold water before he knows what’s hit him. He comes up with a large gasp, laughing and giving Mark a thumbs up.

“Good job, man.”

Hana claps excitedly as Madison hands her a huge pink and cream coloured teddy bear, almost as big as her. She waddles trying to keep it up.

“You can keep this ball.” Mark leaves the last baseball on the booth counter. You say your goodbyes and walk off to find somewhere else to play.

But you’re left wondering if you enjoyed that change of tone in Mark a little too much.

“Dad? Mum?” You snap out of your thoughts and give your attention to Hana.

“Since I’m going to make my own teddy bear soon, can I give this one to one of the children that needs the money? I think they would like a teddy bear too.”

Of course we can, sweet pea!” It’s a little awkward with the huge bear but Mark manages to pick her up. “That’s a great idea.” He praises her.

“We’re very proud of you.” You join in, kissing her on the cheek, so happy to have such a kind and caring daughter.

“My goodness, I’m such a ditz. Could you help me throw?” A mother asks Jaehyun, while a child you assume is her daughter sits bored on the grass. You decide Jaehyun’s is too busy to accommodate your family at his ring toss stand and go elsewhere.

After some more games and a candy floss break, with an hour left at the fair, Mark suggests he and Hana go around to ask kids if they’d like some fairy dust, instead of staying at their booth.

Mark is very careful to insist Hana ask the kids if they’d want to buy some. A grown man with fairy wings asking small children if they’d like some ‘fairy dust’ would be very concerning. Hana doesn’t understand why, but is happy to do what her Dad asks.

You catch up with Taeil and by the time you meet up with them again, Hana excitedly shows you her empty basket. You’re proud of your daughter, but feel sorry for the parents that will have glitter on everything until God knows when.

You group up with all your friends outside Haechan and Jungwoo’s booth as they announce the raffle winners, the last event of the day. Haechan calls out the numbers and Jungwoo hands out the prizes.

Then Haechan makes it known that this ticket will get the grand prize, some dance lessons from Winwin. There’s ‘ooo’s and ‘aaa’s before he calls out the number.

“That’s me! That’s me! I win!” A little girl excitedly runs up to the front dragging her mother behind her. Everyone claps to congratulate her.

“Oh, you must be a very good dancer.” Her mother flips her long hair behind her back and flutters her eyelashes at Winwin who laughs sheepishly.

“I feel bad for him, she was playing ring toss for an hour.” Jaehyun mutters to you. “But she did give a lot of money... and her number.” You roll your eyes and laugh at him breathlessly.

With that, it’s all over and you help Mark and Hana pack up while parents and children exit the field. thirty minutes later when everything is packed up, Taeil speaks to you all.

“We’ve raised so much money today and it wouldn’t have been possible without all your hard work. Thank you all for your help.” You all clap at Taeil’s kind words.

“It’s been fun making this happen with you guys.” Johnny speaks up after Taeil. “And I think we should celebrate. So if you’re down you’re all welcome to come to my house tomorrow at two for a little get together.”

Everyone seems to be up for it. Jaehyun’s asks you and Mark about Johnny’s place as you walk to the car park.

“What’s it like?” He questions curiously.

“Uh it’s really...” Mark can’t seem to find the right word.

“Nice. It’s really nice.” So you finish the sentence for him.

It’s much more than nice, but you feel it’s not your place to say that. Jaehyun will see for himself on Sunday.

You help Mark put the empty boxes back in the trunk, closing it with a thump before sitting in the passenger’s seat.

“Remember the teddy bear.” Hana mumbles before falling asleep in the back. You do what she asks and look up donation centres for the charity you all raised money for today, while Mark drives you home.

You’re about to open the car door when Mark puts his hand on your arm.

“Hey.” He says softly, probably so he doesn’t wake Hana up, but the sudden lowness of his voice makes your hairs stand up on end.

Your breath hitches as he leans closer, bringing his hand up to your cheek.

“You’ve got some fairy dust on your face.” He chuckles, swiping away the glitter with his thumb.

“Oh t-thanks.” You lose all tension in your body, but still exit the car quickly, hoping it can be disguised as not wanting to stay out long with the autumn air growing colder day by day.

Sunday afternoon comes around and you’re at Johnny’s house again. You want to take his word that it’ll just be a small party, but in the short time you’ve known that man, he surprises you.

“Holy shit!” You glare at Jaehyun for his use of foul language around your five year old daughter. Luckily for him, she’s too busy talking with Hajoon and two other kids of parents who helped with the fair, to notice.

But you can’t blame him, Johnny’s idea of a ‘little’ get together is insane.

The common areas of his home are decorated lavishly enough for a dinner party. Live music is heard from a room somewhere, you’re still unfamiliar with the layout of his huge home. And his garden has enough things for a kid’s party, a bouncy castle, arts and crafts table, and even some party bags.

“Who wants to play in the garden?” The four kids yell “Me!” Several times so Madison takes them thereto have fun under her care.

“Hors d'oeuvres?” You, Jaehyun and Mark try a cracker wrapped prosciutto from a silver tray held by a staff member you’ve never seen before.

Just before you finish the snack, a loud powerful voice vibrates up to the room you’re in.

“Is that... Haechan?” You say, shocked, with a dry mouth.

Another voice follows.

“And Jungwoo?” Mark asks.

“Yeah there’s a karaoke machine in the game room.” Johnny reveals.

“You’ve got a game room? Dude you really know how to live.” Jaehyun slaps Johnny on the back and they laugh in that way bros often do.

Haechan and Jungwoo greet you when the four of you arrive in the room. This is where all of your friends actually are. Taeyong and Yuta aresat chatting at the mini bar, and Taeil and Winwin are conversing in a corner.

“Mark come rap!” Haechan insists when the song ends and Mark obliges.

You sit with Jungwoo on the lounge chair and watch as your friends pick a song.

They decide on ‘Can’t Hold Us.’ By Macklemore. Haechan gets the vocals and Mark does the rap.

Mark’s good at rapping, not as passionate about it as he used to be but it’s a lesser known hobby of his. Him and Haechan even had their own YouTube channel back in the day. You remember telling him you’d break up with him on the spot if he ever dedicated a rap to you.

You find yourself enamoured by his confidence, his style and the way his mouth moves.

He notices you staring through the corner of his eye and throws a smirk your way, the simple facial expression makes your heart skip a beat for some reason.

You and Jungwoo play the captivated audience, whooping and cheering when the two finish the song.

“This party needs more dancing!” Somehow Jaehyun manages to get a hold of the sound system and starts dancing with Johnny.

“Alright!” Mark gets up and joins them. “Come on guys!”

He receives varying versions of ‘no’ from you, Haechan, Jungwoo, Taeil and Yuta.

“You’re on your own man.” You shake your head raise your hands up in protest. Well, he’s really not because Taeyong and Winwin join in too.

“You owe me a dance Y/N!” He yells over the music. You shake your head again, but smile.

Johnny opts to give everyone a house tour after, but you, Mark and Haechan say you’ll stay and try more karaoke.

You don’t know why you bother doing a duet with Haechan, he out-sings you with ease. Mark is much more your style, you have more fun singing with him.

But karaoke can only be entertaining for so long so the three of you wander off to find something else to do. 

You call it wandering, but really you’re trying to find your way back to the front room but got lost. At least Haechan gets to experience Johnny’s house in a different way, but it takes you about an hour to get where you want to be.

Understandably, Haechan needs the toilet after such a long journey, so Johnny’s butler shows him the nearest one.

You know after all that, you probably shouldn’t leave him alone, but the soothing sounds of violin, piano and bass melding together draws you into another room. And Mark just so happens to follow you.

The small music group isn’t in this room, but the next room over. Apart from some bookshelves and pictures across the wall, and the music filling the room, it would be empty without you and Mark.

“You still owe me a dance.” He reminds you, exaggeratedly bowing down and holding his hand out like a Disney prince.

“Oh alright.” You’re glad no one else is here as you’d be so embarrassed by his playful action. But you’d be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to dancing with him.

You take your positions, his hand on your hip, yours on his shoulder.

“I can’t believe you talked me into that ballroom dancing class in uni.” You sigh and reminisce.

“Do you still remember the waltz?”

“Nope.”

“Good thing I’m leading then.” Mark chuckles and you begin. 

It’s a nice moment, spinning and turning around the room in time to the music. Your movements are clumsy and awkward, but they almost don’t matter, you never feel self conscious in front of Mark.

You melt into the moment and rest your head on his shoulder. You stop moving and get lost in his scent, not even his cologne, the sweet and familiar natural scent he has when you’re this close.

“I miss dancing with you, you’re really good at it, you know.” You admit quietly.

“We should do it more often.” He mutters peacefully. “D-dancing I mean.” Correcting himself even though you didn’t think of his words in that way.

The zoned out look on your face turns up into a smile. After everything that’s happened, he’s still your dorky, loveable high school sweetheart.

You laugh and look up at him, making contact with those sparkling dark chocolate eyes that had portrayed so many emotions to you over the years.

Nothing needs to be said, you can both just tell, and lean in closer, and closer, and closer.

And closer even still.

“Hate to ruin this touching moment.” The sound of a third voice causes you two to jolt away from each other in unison. You cover your mouth in shock as Mark hits his head against the mahogany bookcase.

“But Hana’s been sick.” Both of you turn to face Jaehyun as he finishes his sentence. You’re still covering your mouth, Mark still rubbing his sore head, but you’re both ready to go, after hearing your daughter is in trouble.

You finally see her in a spare bedroom with Madison. She’s bawling her eyes out, balled up fist rubbing at her tears, in a plain white T-shirt that hangs off her left shoulder because it’s too big for her.

“Oh sweetie, what happened?” You approach her cautiously.

“I.” She hiccups. “Ate too much ice cream!” Then continues to cry.

“Come here.” Mark comes down to her level to comfort her in a hug. The sorrow on her face comes down a little as she nuzzles her face into his shoulder and you know she’ll feel safe in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know she’d had that much.” Madison apologises regretfully.

“It’s alright, kids do these things.” You try to make sure she doesn’t worry too much. “But I think we should call it a night.”

Mark agrees, picking your daughter up, ready to leave your friend’s home.

Hana sniffles in the back seat while you text Haechan an apology for ditching him, explaining the situation.

You look over at Mark, his hands firmly gripping the wheel so hard you can see veins clearly. His eyes are fixed on the road and a light red hue paints his cheeks.

You’re too busy cheering up Hana to think about the moment before Jaehyun stepped in, until you tuck her into bed. But that evening, as you sleep beside Mark, you wonder if that dance was as heart stopping for him, as it was for you.

Probably not. You throw the thought away and go to sleep.

The week goes by as most weeks do, pretty standard stuff. Things are normal between you and Mark, so that validates your belief that what happened at Johnny’s was just a funny moment.

Speaking of Johnny, he feels bad about Hana’s evening being cut so short, so invites her to have a sleepover with Hajoon that Friday after dance class.

“Good news everyone!” Taeil announces after the kids come out the gym. “We’ve got a new dance teacher, Winwin, to run a class here on Mondays. So if you know anyone who can’t make it to this session, please tell them about the new Monday one.”

You’re happy to see Taeil’s problem turned into a solution thanks to Winwin.

You and Mark say goodbye to Hana and wave her off as she leaves with Hajoon and Madison to be driven to her friend’s home, Johnny’s too busy with work to pick up his son today.

“I think we should take advantage of the evening, don’t you?” You suggest to Mark, the bright white streetlights partially lighting up his face as you drive home.

“Yup. There’s a series finale with our names on it.” He agrees lazily.

“And a bottle of wine.” You add.

So you do just that. The two of you get home and change into your comfortable loungewear, ready for a Friday night in.

Your bare feet patter on the wood as you walk into the living room with two glasses, a bag of cheesy tortilla chips and Johnny’s gift. You set the items on the coffee table and get cozy next to Mark, sitting legs crossed on the sofa. He’s got the TV set up, ready to press play.

Since you’re a few episodes behind you start there. ‘Ooo’ing at a soft spoken character’s sudden sassy outburst, shaking Mark when a moment you didn’t think was possible happens before your very eyes, gasping when you don’t know if this character will make it in a life or death scene. All moments and feelings Mark has been through weeks ago, but he still accommodates your reactions even though he doesn’t share them.

“This is it.” You end your sentence with a swig of wine.

“It better be good.” Mark copies you.

The ending doesn’t disappoint. All the major questions are answered, but some mysteries are left vaguely unsolved to leave room to continue the series.

“That was amazing!” The praise comes out your mouth louder than you expected.

“There better be a sequel.” Mark hopes, stretching his arms up. You hope he doesn’t notice you looking at his stomach, sweatshirt lifting up at his movements to revealed his well toned lower torso.

You pay attention to the bottle instead, ready to pour another glass for yourself, but nothing comes out.

“Oh no.” You turn the empty bottle upside down over his head. “All gone.”

A single drop of red wine drops into his jet black hair. His reaction of jerking away is about three seconds too late to do anything.

“Let’s make something.” You get up and go to the kitchen. By the time Mark stumbles in afteryou, you’re pouring soju, strawberries, sprite and yogurt into a blender.

He drapes his arm over your shoulder, probably to steady himself, as you blend the ingredients.

Once done, you pour the concoction into the empty wine glasses, signalling the drink’s completion with a “Ta-da!”

“I’ll call it... an adult smoothie.” You decide.

“But it has no bananas in it.” Mark giggles.

“Mark Lee! How can you be so dirty?” You wag your finger at him, before poking him in the chest.

“Come on.” You give him his drink and shoo him out the kitchen with a friendly pat on the bum.

Another show has started autoplaying, but you and Mark decide a sophisticated drink needs a sophisticated conversation, so you just use it as background noise.

“Who has a nicer assss? Meeee or you?” You blurt out with a hiccup.

“I’m gonna say.... MEEEEE!” Mark yells confidently, slapping his own ass as he’s bent over the couch.

“That’s not fairrrr!” You complain with an immature pout. “A guy can’t have a nicer asssss than a girl!”

“Why not?” He defends his self pleasing verdict. “You get boooooobs.” He points at your chest. “I don’t get booooobs.” He flips up his top to flash you. “The least I can have is a nice assss.”

“But youuuu get thooose.” You place your hand on his tummy, running it across the muscles.

“You can have abbbs tooo!” He pokes your tummy in return.

“No I can’t! I have a job and a kid and billllls. When do you have the timeee to work ouuut?” You question the man.

“I wake up at threeeee in the morning and go for a run threee times a week.” He shares his secret.

“You’re craaaazy duude!” You slap his shoulder. Actually, you’re not sure if your hand made contact.

“No I’m noooot!” He sits up to defend his routine. “It’s nice and peacefullllll and it gives me time to think.”

“What do youuuuu think about?” You rest your head on his shoulder.

“Well, my parents. My friends. Hanaaaa You.” You’re relieved he mentions you, but confused why you have your own category.

“Am I not youuur friend?” You ask in a little voice, slightly hurt.

“No! Well yeahhhh, but also noooo. It’s complicated because we’ve done stufffff.” He babbles out an explanation.

“I know we’ve done stufffff. That’s why we have a daughterrrr.” You chuckle, rubbing your face against him.

“You knowwww.” You sit up to finish the last of your drink, knowing you probably shouldn’t say what you’re about to say, but getting the courage to say it anyway.

“You’re the last personnn I had sex with.” You state swaying, it’s probably supposed to be a nod.

“Same! I haven’t had sex in almost six yearssss!” He holds his hand out and you give him a high five.

“You knowwww what this means?” You realise.

“Yup.” Mark agrees so you throw a leg over each side of his lap, straddling him.

“We need to help each otherrrrr have sex.” You explain, putting your hands on both his shoulders.

“Mmhmmmmmm.” He agrees again.

You lean in so close you can feel the heat of his breath.

“Give me your phone, I’m downloading Tinderrrrr.”

“Yup.” He fishes it out the space between the couch cushions, then gets yours from where you were sitting before you sat on his lap. “We are getting laidddddd TONIGHT.”

It was a good idea on paper. But ten minutes into trying to make profiles for each other, you accept that you’re both too drunk to string together a single sexy sentence.

“Anotherrrrr time.” Mark pats your back to comfort you and you agree with him.

There’s a small silence before another thought turns into words, spilling out your mouth.

“You said you think about me when you go running. What do you think about meeee?”

“Welllll.” Mark starts, changing his position on the couch to look at you.

“I think that you’reeeee one of my best friends.” You nod.

“And I think that I love you. Aaaaas a friend.” Mark makes it clear.

“Awwwww. I love you as a friend toooo!” You share the sentiment, catching him off guard with an impromptu hug, now on top of your friend Mark.

“And sometimessss.” He continues looking up at you. “I think of what it would be likeeee if we were still together.”

“Me tooooo!” You gasp agreeing again. “Like sometimes I’ll be shoppinggggg and I’ll see something and think ‘I would sooooo get that for Mark if we were still together.’”

He nods slowly and quietly in agreement.

“Yup. If we were stillllll together.” You repeat and look down at him, drinking in the carefree but flustered look on his face.

You’re caught up in his dark brown eyes again, being drawn closer and closer and closer.

You wonder what unlikely event will happen now to stop this moment. But the surprise is nothing does and Mark leans up to close the space with a kiss.

His lips are intoxicating, you aren’t sure if it’s the wine on his tongue or the way he kisses you so hungrily.

You kiss back of course, falling back into that familiar feeling, happy to have back a feeling you’ve missed so dearly.

It’s not until you pull back to breathe that you realise what you’ve done. The chilled out feeling of pleasure and satisfaction in your head slowly turns into horror as you back away from Mark.

He doesn’t say anything, or maybe you don’t give him time to as you tumble your way out the living room, into the corridor and finally into your bedroom.

You slam the door shut so loud the sound vibrates through you and the apartment. Then you stumble face first into your bed, turning around and bringing your fingers up to your lips in disbelief.

You kissed Mark.

You wake up with a headache, both physically and mentally.  _ Why would you do that? _

You don’t dare enter the living room this morning. No matter how hungry you feel.

Whilst getting dressed after your shower, your phone dings signalling it’s received a message.

You check it, it’s from Haechan.

_ Haechan: YOU AND MARK KISSED? _

Those four words remind you how the action can’t be denied. Now fully sober, you’re not sure if you kissed Mark, or Mark kissed you, but there was definitely a long, memorable kiss. But memorable for all the wrong reasons.

You don’t have the strength to tackle this topic with Haechan so you leave his message unreplied and leave your home to go pick up your daughter.

“My bad, they’ll be five minutes, you know howfinger painting can get.” Johnny apologises as you stand and talk in his house.

Your mind can’t help but remember the decorations that once covered this room that night you danced with Mark. Would you have kissed then? You have to stop thinking about kissing. And Mark.

“Where’s Mark?” The illogical part of you worries that Johnny can read your mind, but it’s a reasonable for him to ask where his friend is.

“Well, uh, ah. It’s a whole thing.” You trip over your words and give up on explaining.

“Is everything ok?” Johnny keeps at it.

Better to come out with it, he’s going to find out eventually.

“We kissed last night.”

“Oh... **OH**.” Johnny’s eyebrows lift up in realisation, completely taken aback.

“Yeah, we haven’t spoken since.” You sigh, defeated.

“Well, let me give you some advice. Communication is the only way you’re going to get through this. That’s how you guys have such a great rela- friendship in the first place.”

Johnny’s wise words stick in your head, but by the time you arrive home, you realise you’re still not ready to talk to Mark. So you tell Hana to show off her finger painting to her Dad in the living room and head out again.

“I don’t see what the big deal is.It was just a kiss. It could be so much worse. Hana could have had a sibling on the way.”

You contemplate throwing your iced coffee in Jaehyun’s face, but it would be unfair to burden Yuta or his staff with the mess, so you flick his hand on the table instead.

“Dude, you just don’t get it.” Yuta sighs. “She didn’t just kis-“

“Have a kiss with.” You correct him as the wording is very important to you for some reason. Maybe to absolve you of guilt? Not that it works.

“She didn’t just have a kiss with  _ anyone _ , which no offence, would have been a big deal too. She had a kiss with Mark.”

“It’s not that big a deal.” You try to defend yourself even though Yuta isn’t being offensive with his words. “But it is. But it isn’t. But it is.”

You groan in frustration, hiding your head in your arms on the table.

“I don’t know what to do.”


	5. Six Years Ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did this all start?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A veeery long chapter.   
> Happy Mark Day! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

You don’t really know why you’re here.  


Standing on an age-stained raised patio at the back of a house, being chilled by winter's last frosty air, still not ready to make way for a cool spring breeze.

You slide your phone into the back pocket of your faded black jeans and glance up at the stars, starting to appear as the twilight sky darkens.

This is what high school is about. Mingling and socialising. So why are you so unhappy at one of the biggest parties of the school year?

Well for one, you don’t know anyone here. Your friends, too intimidated by the mixing of social groups, didn’t come with you. And the guy who’s invited you here is nowhere to be seen.

It’s easier to stay alone in the back than stand amidst the hustle and bustle of socialisation, looking like a complete outcast.

“Hey, you’re here!” The guy in question finally appears, walking up next to you.

“I’ve been here for twenty minutes, Haechan.” You sigh, slightly frustrated.

“Oh my bad, why are you outside?” He asks, oblivious.

“Because I don’t know anyone.” You state obviously.

“Well I can fix that, come on.” That’s when the night starts to take shape. Haechan has to be a sociable guy to host a party in the first place, yet you’re surprised by the variety in his friends. He attracts people like sunflowers to the sun.

“And finally, this is my partner in crime, Mark.” He introduces you to his closest friend.

The teen boy’s got an unassuming aura, tousled black hair and thin rimmed round glasses that contrast with his casual light grey hoodie. 

There’s something about him that intrigues you, something that draws you to him, but that’s an awkward feeling to express when you’ve only just met.

“Mark, this is Y/N. She’s the only one that makes Mrs Anderson’s class bearable.” Haechan continues.

“Hi.” Somehow you both manage to say hello at the same time. Then silence sets in.

“Think you two need a drink. I’ll be right back.” Haechan breaks the silence before slinking off again.

“So do you like English? In Mrs Anderson’s class I mean.” Mark keeps up the conversation.

“Well, it’s one of the more enjoyable subjects. Mrs Anderson’s isn’t as bad as Haechan says, you know. He just can’t keep his mouth shut and that pisses her off.” You feel like you’ve been talking too long, but that’s better than silence, right? Was insulting his best friend really a good idea?

“Yeah, Haechan can be...something.” He laughs lightly, you quite like it, wondering if you can make him laugh again. “How’d you guys get talking?”

“She put us together for a project. He’s quite fun to work with actually. I thought with the way she’s always on his case that I’d have to do all the work but he knows what he’s doing.” You’re quite jealous of him, you’re very dedicated to your studies, meanwhile Haechan can keep up effortlessly.

“Aww, thank you! I take my education  very  seriously.” Haechan’s back with the drinks, you roll your eyes exaggeratedly before turning your attention back to Mark.

“But what do you like? Outside of school. Sorry for going on about it for so long, that was a bit nerdy of me.” You scold yourself out loud.

“Oh don’t worry about it, we spend so much time there, might as well talk about it.” His reassurance makes you smile shyly.

“I’m into music. Made the playlist for the party actually.”

“Oh.” You pay attention to the music, an R&B song that gives off a chill vibe.

“I like it!” You truly do, but you also want to have something in common with him.

“What types of music do you like?” You pry more specifically.

“Little bit of everything really. R&B, rock, pop, hip hop, EDM. The speaker is hooked up to Haechan’s laptop so I can show you some songs on my phone if you want?”

“Sure.” You reply eagerly, hoping you didn’t move too quickly to his side.

Haechan can see that his work is done and you’re happy for him to leave you with Mark, talking about music. It’s such a broad topic, you talk about what concerts you’ve been to, songs from your childhood, jingles from adverts on TV that have been stuck in your head for years. Unimportant stuff, but it’s fun to talk about, you’re convinced it would be fun to talk to him about anything.

You enjoy your time with Mark so much you almost don’t notice the party drawing to a close, the number of people in the house getting smaller and smaller with every minute.

“Just hit me up if you need a good playlist.” He says after you exchange numbers. You wonder if you’re delusional for thinking he’s being flirty with the way he says it.

You play those words over and over in your head on the way home. Thinking about the tone he said them in makes you tingle so you hide under the sheets.

Throughout the week, you glance at his name in your contacts from time to time. You want to text him, but you take his invitation at face value, you don’t need any playlists. Plus, running into him at school would be more organic and cool.

But it doesn’t happen.

“What classes does Mark have?” You try to casually ask Haechan during a last period English class.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs.

“How don’t you know?” You’re confused.

“He doesn’t go to this school.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, Mr Lee goes to private school.” Haechan says in an exaggerated posh voice.

“Private school?” You repeat in surprise.

“Yeah, he got a scholarship through some entrance exam.” He explains.

“Why do you ask?” He switches back to why you wondered about Mark in the first place.

“Was just hoping to run into him.” You mumble.

“But you’ve got his number. Just text him.” Haechan reminds you.

“I don’t know what to say.” You admit sheepishly.

“Can I get your phone?” You check the teacher is distracted before unlocking your phone and sliding it across the table to Haechan.

He types out a short message then returns it to you.

“Sorted.” He says satisfied.

You look at the screen to see what he’s done.

_ You: hey, was really nice meeting you at haechan’s party, you want to meet up after school today? _

“Why did you send that!” You exclaim with panic, but watch your volume so only Haechan can hear.

“So you can hang out with Mark again.” He answers nonchalantly.

“But I look so desperate.” You groan, hiding your face in your hands.

You can’t focus on the stupid assignment for the next ten minutes, head filled with worries about how Mark will think you’re weird and desperate.

Yet, when your phone buzzes with a new message you check it quickly.

_ Mark: sure, can I come pick you up? _

Your fingers rush typingsomething back.

_ You: yeah that’s cool, see you then _

That felt like too many words, you should have just said ‘ok’, but you’ve sent it now.

You show the messages to Haechan, mouth open in joy.

“Sounds like a date to me.” Haechan nods.

“Wait, do you think he thinks I asked him out?” You panic again. “I didn’t mean to!”

“Why’s that a problem? You clearly like him, it’s so obvious.”

“I don’t!” You argue. “He’s just fun to be around. You have to come with me so it’s like hanging out and not a date.”

“Ok, I don’t mind being a third wheel.” Haechan teases.

“You’re not a third wheel! We will just be three even wheels of equal value hanging out.”

And that’s what you are. Mark picks the two of you up, not questioning why Haechan is here, probably assuming he invited himself.

You feel nervous sitting in the passenger seat, legs clamped tightly together and balled up fists resting on your lap.

He looks so cool, his school uniform is much more formal than you and Haechan’s regular clothes. But with his tie thrown somewhere in the backseat and two buttons undone, it gives him a more laidback look.

And it’s a laidback time. The three of you wander casually around the mall, only buying stuff to eat.

Haechan’s attention gets caught up in some shoe store, he says he’ll text you when he’s done, so it’s just you and Mark.

You spend so long thinking of something to say that you completely forget the fact that nothing has been said since Haechan dipped.

“I might have got this totally wrong, but are you nervous around me?” Mark pipes up with an unexpected question.

You think for a second about how you should answer. Keep up this nonchalant persona or be real?

“A little.” You admit sheepishly.

“Well, you don’t have be.” He chuckles.

“It’s easier said than done.” You can’t even look at him.

“What if I show you something about me? So you don’t feel nervous.”

You’re interested in his proposition, so the two of you stop walking, taking a seat together on a metal bench.

He gets out his phone, unravelling the earphones wrapped around it to give you one. You pop it in your ear, feeling flustered by how close you are.

A song starts to play with a little guitar. Then a voice skilfully spitting some verses joins it.

“Is that you?”   
He nods.

You listen to the rest of the song with interest, surprised again when you hear Haechan’s voice too.

“We do some covers.” Mark explains when it’s over.

“You’re really good at rapping.” You compliment him, impressed.

“Thanks.” He replies.

You curse yourself as another awkward silence is about to start.

Then Mark speaks up.

“You want to catch a movie sometime? Maybe without Haechan.” He rubs his neck, looking timid after asking the question.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You smile.

You pick a day and time before Haechan messages, asking where you both are. 

The three of you hang out some more until it gets late and Mark drops you off home.

It’s still not a date, just a guy and a girl, watching a movie...together.

But everyone’s making it out to be such a big deal. Your friends are convinced Mark is going to pull out all the stops to ‘romance’ you, and Haechan keeps teasing you, saying you should thank him for getting you a ‘date’.

But you are looking forward to it. You’ve been texting Mark all week, he asks you what movies you like and the ones you give aren’t currently in the box office, so maybe he’s found some retro place?

You still wonder even when you’re driving to the place. You’re not nervous around him anymore, you’d even had a few late night calls together so you feel completely relaxed.

But he stops in a residental area.

“Is the cinema nearby?” You ask, even though there’s nothing but houses around you.

“You could say that.” He walks up to one, unlocking the front door. You note the chibi spiderman charm on his keychain before he opens the door to let you in.

“So are we watching a movie on TV?” You ask before sitting on the sofa.

“Nope.” He goes into the kitchen and comes out with two big bowls and an assortment of snacks.

Would you be watching it on a laptop in his bed? The thought of lying next to Mark in a bed so soon throws you into internal distress.

“Come in here.” He calls you, standing at the back door in the kitchen that leads to the garden.

You help him open the door and follow him outside. There’s a blue gingham blanket spread in the middle of the grass and a projector leaned up on a table.

Mark places the bowls on the blanket and you turn around to see a huge white sheet covers the back of the house.

“Oh wow.” You say, impressed.

“None of the movies you liked were in the theatres so I thought I’d set something up. Well Haechan helped too.” He clarifies, giving his buddy some credit.

“All this effort for me? Thank you!” You show your appreciation, screaming inside at how cute he is as a blush forms on his cheeks.

The movie he decided on reminds you of the conversation you had. Whispering into your phone under the covers late at night, telling him about this fantasy series you were obsessed with just a few years ago.

It’s a nice memory and you’re glad you can share something you enjoy so much with him.

Captivated by one of the scenes, you reach your hand into the snack bowl without looking and get startled, jolting your hand away when you feel something that definitely isn’t popcorn.

“My bad.” Mark apologies, but giggles cutely at the brief look of shock on your face when you pulled away. You pout at him in response.

Later on, at a pivotal part of the film, he cautiously places his hand on top of yours. You know he’s trying to act coy, but can see a little smile on his face out of the corner of your eye. But you like the interaction and enjoy the feeling of his touch.

There’s still a lot of the movie left, being true to the stereotype that fantasy movies go on for ages. So Mark gets more daring, intertwining his fingers with yours.

So you make some moves of your own, closing the gap in between you until your thighs touch,placing both of your hands on top of his knee, and resting your head in the the space between his head and shoulder.

You’re both determined not to leave the position, so this means Mark feeds you snacks with his free hand.

You don’t come apart until the movie ends. Sitting up again, you face each other with a warm smile.

It’s not time to say goodbye until you’re both stood outside your house after he drops you off.

“Thank you for tonight, I really liked it.” You finish your words with a kiss on his cheek before rushing inside.

That’s how your relationship starts. Your first kiss happens in a similar way, cuddling on the couch at your house while watching a movie. It’s weird when you first call him your boyfriend to a friend, but a good weird that leaves little butterflies in your stomach.

As much as you hate proving Haechan right, his prediction was correct as he was an accessory to you and Mark’s relationship. But he didn’t mind being a third wheel, to him it just felt like three friends hanging out, until Mark would hold your hand or you would kiss him, then Haechan would fake wretch in exaggerated disgust.

The school year drew to a close and made way for one of the best summers you’ve ever had. Normally, all your friends being busy, on vacation or visiting family meant the break would be a boring disaster. But your little trio has you covered, whether it’s helping them record videos or going on cute dates with Mark.

You even have a little road trip, driving to a woodland a few hours away to go camping. Mark gives you the honour of having the aux cord, so you play whatever music you fancy while Haechan sleeps in the backseat.

You remember that trip fondly, sitting around a campfire with Haechan singing while Mark plays guitar. The way Mark holds you close as you sleep in the tent that night.

You’ve made the most of what you’ve got, you’re having a great summer.

Until one day at the mall, (you were there because Haechan mistook one of your tops for a rag and used it as kindling, so you’d quite like a new one) you see your friends, all four of them, hanging out without you.

Now, part of you would like to believe they’ve just happened to have one free day in their busy summer schedule and arranged an impromptu get together, but that was bullshit because they would have contacted you if that was the case. You don’t have the energy to confront them, so you just keep your attention on the rack of clothes.

Mark says “That’s not very nice.” when you rant to him about it. Haechan says “They’re a bunch of snakes.”. You like Haechan’s answer more.

But there’s no point starting drama, you could exit each other’s lives quickly once you finish high school. Your last year is beginning.

Now, as many couples do, you and Mark had gotten close, in that  special way. Let’s just say you and Mark got close in his bed, in yours, in the back of his car, on the couch and almost in the shower one time until you decide you like your skull being one solid piece.

And like most things in life, there’s consequences that come with that.

One month into your last year of high school, you’re not feeling your best. You’re constantly queasy and although your period has come, it’s lighter than usual.

Now most times you guys are careful, but hey, sometimes stuff happens.

And you’re throwing up a lot, so much that your mum thinks you should see a doctor. But you remember some bug is going around school, so you convince her it’s not a big deal.

Until you remember that bug was going around last month, that’s when the terrifying possibility hits you.

You’ve had a talk on the first week of school about sexual health and well-being. You fish around the bottom of your school bag until you find a little card that has the address of the clinic.

Now you’re probably overdoing it, wearing one of Mark’s hoodies and sunglasses, but the thought of anyone you know seeing you receive a pregnancy test scares you a lot.

At least the woman at the counter is nice, you don’t know why you nod and smile instead of saying thank you when she gives you a few tests, she’s already heard your voice when you asked for them.

Maybe seeing the tests makes the fear more real, and it only gets realer when you go in the bathroom to use them.

The truth is like a slap in the face with a jagged stone. The second test only confirms it.

You’re pregnant.

It feels like a harsh reality and a bad dream at the same time. You cover the tests, wrap them in tissue paper and shove them deep inside your bag. Not like that can hide what they say.

You sob silently on the bus ride home, wiping your tears away with the sleeve of Mark’s hoodie, making way for new ones to come through. A mix of shock, panic and fear bubble violently inside you.

You manage to get yourself together before opening the door to your home. But you still wear your sunglasses, just in case the redness of your eyes can be seen in the darkness.

“Did you have fun with Haechan and Mark, hun?” You remember the lie you told your mother before heading out. You mumble a quick “Yes.” Before going up the stairs to your room.

You feel so awful that you call in sick the next day, your parents telling you to call them if you start feeling worse, before they leave for work.

Realistically, you can probably hide it for a month. You can lie to your parents, you can lie to your friends, but you can’t lie to Mark.

Those few hours while you think of how to tell him feel like days, until you finally decide to sit up in your bed and call him at the time you know his lunch break will start.

“Hey what’s up?” You can hear the chatter of students in the background when he picks up.

“I’m at home today, not feeling too good, can you come over?” Not feeling good is an understatement, you’re physically ill and mentally distressed.

“Sure, I’ll see you soon.”

It doesn’t feel like soon. You’re not sure if it’s the mood you’re in but it feels like it takes ages until he arrives.

You follow up your call with a text, saying the front door’s unlocked so he can just come up straight to your room.

A final countdown starts in your head as you hear his footsteps on the stairs.

“Hi.” Mark opens the door gently, entering your bedroom.

“Hey.” You manage weakly, turning your body to the other side to look at him. He’s holding a small plastic bag.

“Sorry I took so long, wanted to get you some stuff.” You smile at his kind action, he places the bag on your bedside table and sits on your bed.

“How are you feeling?” He rubs your side soothingly.

“I’ve been better.” You croak.

“I know you probably haven’t eaten so here.” He reaches over to the bag to bring out a sandwich and a bottle of coke.

Normally you’d love this food, but everything about it makes you feel sick, so you eat it tentatively. The texture is slimy, the flavour is off, but at least you can wash it down with the soft drink.

But Mark is patient with you even though you take ages to eat. Now there’s nothing else, you’d better just come out and say it.

You bring out your legs from under the covers and sit right next to Mark.

“I found out why I’m so sick.” You walk up to the wall, getting the test balled up in tissue out of your bag, then go back to Mark.

He looks down at the item in your lap as you unravel the paper to reveal a pregnancy test, a positive pregnancy test.

You watch as the look of curiosity on his face turns into pure, unfiltered shock. Mark’s eyes go wider than you’ve ever seen them go.

That confirms it, you’re totally screwed. You turn your back to him, curling up into a ball on your bed and start sobbing.

“Hey! Hey!” Mark snaps back into reality, touching your arm to let you know he’s still here.

You sit up, and resume your crying.

“It’s going to be ok!” Mark hurriedly wraps his arms around you to comfort you.

“If you’re going to leave me, just do it now.” You can feel him shake with the harshness of your words, even though you say them so quietly.

“Look at me.” Mark lets go of you to hold both your hands, going down on one knee.

“You’re not going to do this alone, I’m going to be with you every step of the way.”

You start crying again, relief washing over you like a wave, moved by the care in his words.

He holds you again, to reassure you with his actions as well as his words.

You lie down for hours, Mark’s arms around you, not caring about going back to school, just wanting to be with you.

That was hard, but it’s far from over. Telling both of your parents that weekend brings up those feelings of anxiety again, but this time you can share them with Mark.

Your mum is horrified, your dad is stoic and distant, Mark’s parents both have the same look on his face that he did when you told him.

But this is life now, and they’ve all gotten used to the idea, wanting to support their kids in anyway they can

And your families do get close, your mothers planning what things they could buy for the baby, your fathers planning when they would build all the new furniture, you even spend Christmas together.

You weren’t planning on telling any of your friends until you can’t hide it anymore, even Haechan.

But that was the plan, and as you’ve already learned, things don’t always go the way you want them to.

You’re texting Mark while changing, getting ready to hang out with him and Haechan.

You’re talking about the baby growing inside you, as you often do now, when you send a message, jokingly whining about how fat you’re going to get.

It’s not until you finish changing and check your phone for Mark’s response, that you find you’ve sent the message to a group chat with him, you and Haechan.

_ Haechan: why? christmas was a while ago haha _

It’s a few weeks earlier than planned, but you and Mark decide over the phone it would be okay to tell friends now, starting with Haechan.

“This is so-“ He stops for a fake sniffle, wiping an imaginary tear away from his eye with one finger. “so much. I’m going to be an uncle?!”

“Shut up Haechan.” You roll your eyes and shove him. He stumbles slightly, laughing.

“Like, I wanted you guys to get together. But I didn’t think I’d have to tell you to be careful, Mark. It’s not my job to have ‘the talk’ with you.”

Mark turns away from Haechan, embarrassed. You glare at Haechan, hard.

But apart from his irritating sense of humour, he’s quite supportive.

When you tell your friends, they’re shocked at first, but happy for you. But something feels, off, about their reactions.

They hang out with you at school, but never seem to have time outside of it.  
  


A month later, coming back to school after spring break with a new, much baggier, wardrobe, you feel like everyone is watching you and wonder if paranoia is a symptom of pregnancy.

But nope, everyone is definitely staring at you and in your first English class, you find out they’re talking about you too.

Two girls keep looking back at you and Haechan’s table, then whisper at each other before giggling. You try not to pay attention, focusing on your work. But as the class progresses, they get more brazen with their actions, talking so loud that you can hear them.

_ “I hear she always hangs out with both of them cause she doesn’t know which one is the dad.”  _

_ “Oh my God, what a slut!” They both cackle. _

You take a deep breath and try not to let it bother you, but it does. Someone you thought you trusted has shared your deepest secret. You wonder if Haechan heard the girls too.

He sighs, drops his pencil, gets up and walks over to the table where the girls are still laughing.

“As much as I would be honoured to have a child with someone as lovely as Y/N, I’m not.” 

He ends his sentence roughly, making eye contact with the two catty teenage girls below him before continuing.

“If you’re going to spread lies and chat shit about someone, at least have the guts to say it to their face instead of turning away like a little bitch.”

“Language, Haechan! Get back to your seat!” Mrs Anderson commands.

“Oh, so now you can hear? How are you going to hear two students harassing someone and do fuck all about it? Isn’t it your job to at least pretend you give a shit?” He turns his tirade to the teacher.

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that!” She stands her ground.

“Then do your fucking job!” He doesn’t back down.

“That’s it, get out of my classroom. NOW!” Haechan obliges, completely done.

You hand him his stuff before he storms out the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

The sudden confrontation makes you feel ill. To Mrs Anderson’s credit, she orders silence among the chattering students, not believing the soap opera level drama that just unfolded before their eyes, it stays that way until the bell rings.

Really you felt ill from the moment Haechan stood up, but manage to keep it in until the class ends, before practically running into the nearest girl’s bathroom to throw up.

You clean yourself up and Haechan comes back to mind, so you return to sit outside the classroom to wait for him, since that was your last class.

You hear a lot of yelling, but it’s only a female voice this time. Haechan finally exits the room with a detention slip.

“Better than the headteacher’s office.” He shrugs as you walk out the building.

“You didn’t have to do that you know, it was fine.” You say guiltily, feeling bad about him getting a punishment because of your predicament.

“I’m not going to let anyone talk shit about my friend, Mark would have done the same.” He explains why he defended you.

“You really think so?” You don’t believe your shy, sweet boyfriend could do such a thing.

“Yeah, he might seem all calm and collected, but that guy can get mad when he needs to.” Haechan affirms.  
  


You want to put the incident behind you, but are glad to have a friend like him. Looking to much more positive news, your first scan is coming up.

Hopefully the ‘doctor’s appointment’ lie stands, but it probably just validates the gossip about your pregnancy.

But you try not to think about that with Mark holding your hand lovingly, your mum sat in the passenger seat while his mum drives to the hospital.

It’s not like you were meeting your baby, they’ve been there from the start. But you’re letting everyone in to see the chaos going on inside you.

The clinically clean smell of the room and Mark rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb soothes you into relaxing on the bed, even with the ice cold gel on your belly and thescanner being pushed against you.

Eventually, after all the poking and prodding, a small alien-looking body can be seen on the screen and you finally get to see the little person who’s been causing all this commotion.

Even though you have your own copy, that image is ingrained in your mind. When people murmur around you in school, when you’re up late studying for a test, when brainstorming baby names with Mark, your thoughts go back to the unknown, still forming figure you feel you know so well.

But willpower can only take you so far, and Haechan can’t be in every one of your classes. As you get bigger your secret gets harder to hide, so you, the headteacher and your parents decide it’s better for you to study at home, only coming on school grounds for after class help, to hand in assignments and take exams.

Your friends feign sorrow, but you know you’ll probably never see them again after your last day in school.

At least Mark and Haechan always have your back. With study dates, or well deserved study breaks, Haechan can hand your assignments in or communicate with your teachers when you feel too anxious to go back to school, not wanting the attention of even a few stragglers.

Mark likes to call you the Fantastic Four now, you don’t know how Haechan hasn’t abandoned ship yet as the coupley stuff’s gone up to one hundred. Mark’s hands are on your bulging belly whenever he has the chance, telling the little person every detail going on in the outside world.

Maybe he’s grown soft, or maybe he’s curious, but one day when the three of you are hanging out in your home, he pulls out a pair of pregnancy earphones, spouting some excuse about how he feels bad that the poor kid only has Mark’s voice and needs some variety for their sanity. It’s his way of being sweet and showing the baby what a real singer sounds like.

No matter what he says, you still love Mark’s voice. He sends you late night ramblings and you stick the baby earphones to your tummy, playing his voice to your baby while listening too.

Even though you’re not the best singers, Mark convinces you to sing a song with him. The thought being if you play it to your baby now, it will comfortthem to have a familiar sound after they’re born. A prepared perfect lullaby from their parents.

The pressure grows as your final exams and due date get closer. You know you’re at a disadvantage with everything going on, but you have so much to prove by getting good marks.

Your parents can see the weight of the world on your shoulders and think a baby shower will be a well deserved break.

It might be good, being the centre of positive attention because of your pregnancy, for once.

But all you can think about, trapped in an uncomfortable purple dress, surrounded by family members you haven’t seen in years, is how this time would be much better spent studying.

Even so, you try your best to please, resisting the urge to tug at the over the top, formal dress, from your grandmother. She thought since you can’t go to prom, you can glam up your baby shower instead. You hold your breath seeing your little cousins run around with items you know are from your off limits bedroom. Trying to explain to Mark’s grandparents why their first great grandchild is going to be born out of wedlock.

The thing that hurt the most was Haechan was your only friend present. You haven’t spoken to your friends outside of half hearted text messages after leaving school. But you still invited them, some naive part of you believing they would show up.

They don’t.

It was time to face reality. They were only around you when they had no other choice. And they were probably the ones that started the gossip about your pregnancy.

Your parents and Mark’s went to so much effort to make a lovely party, decorating and getting the family together. There is even a cute little cake that would reveal the gender of your unborn child. But you can’t take it anymore and send your distress signal, a secret look of despair, over to Haechan and Mark.

Mark takes over the conversation with his grandparents, telling them about school. Haechan has Mark’s keys and helps you pick up some snacks and the cake before sneaking out the back. When Mark catches up to you, the three of you make your grand escape.

“That was a nightmare.” You sigh, leaning on the hood of Mark’s car while he and Haechan stand around.

“Yeah, but they did put in a lot of effort.” Mark gives the other opinion.

“I get that it’s just... we can have our own baby shower, just us three.” You explain, happy with the more casual set up.

Haechan interjects before Mark can speak.

“I swear if you say four. Yes, we get it, Y/N is pregnant, she is with child, there’s a baby on board, she’s a human submarine WE KNOW. In fact, you’re banned from saying ‘just us four’ or any version of it until this kid is born.”

Mark nods. “Yeah that’s fair.”

Haechan changes the topic of his rant to more random shit and Mark listens for some reason while you tuck into the specially made cake, your cravings demanding you do.

Mark listens intently, giving his own counter arguments. He glances briefly at you, then a look of realisation sets on his face before he stares at you with a look of surprise.

“Sorry, I’m eating like a pig.” You grab Haechan’s arm and wipe your mouth on his sleeve, ignoring his fed up look.

Mark shakes his head. That’s not it.

“We’re having a girl?” He squeaks.

You look at him with confusion until Haechan lifts his arm, bringing attention to the pink on his sleeve. You touch your mouth and look into the cake. Yep, pink filling.

Despite everyone’s massive support, you’re still spending eight to ten hours a day completely isolated, no amount of texts or phone calls can make up for the lack of socialisation in your life. And that takes its toll on you mentally, you go all in with your studies, even when you have people with you, because you know they’ll leave eventually.

Maybe you put so much effort in because studying is the last thing that feels normal, the last thing that reminds you you’re a teenage girl, not just a mother to be. Maybe it’s the hope, you want to subvert expectations, prove that even with this unforeseen circumstance, you’re still smart and capable.

Mark helps you destress however he can, luring you out to hang out with him and Haechan with the promise of your favourite craving, junk food. Treating you to pamper nights, with movies and face masks, he even gives you pedicures since you can’t remember the last time you could touch your feet. And going to some prenatal classes specifically for teen parents, learning important skills and reminding you there’s other people in your situation.

One evening, you waddle out the corner shop with two handfuls of freshly bought snacks and into Mark’s car, now ready for a fun movie night at his place with Haechan.

“Watch this.” You drink some fruit juice straight out the carton and wait, it doesn’t happen immediately, so the three of you turn your attention back to the show.

About seven minutes later, you feel that familiar thudding in your stomach, so get Mark and Haechan to pay attention to your belly.

“Oh my God that’s so weird!” Haechan turns his head, a peculiar look on his face as he watches the tiny limb press against you.

“Our daughter isn’t weird!” Mark puts a hand on your bump in joking defence. “She’s just very excited to come out and meet us.”

“Aren’t you, sweet pea?” He addresses the baby directly with a new nickname he’s been trying out. A huge smile forms on your face when the baby kicks back in response to his voice, looking up at you with glee.

“Woah.” Haechan is amazed.

Now it’s the final month and you’d be meeting your little one any day now. You have two hospital bags, one at your home and the other in Mark’s. This gets bumped up to three after a scare in Mark’s car, thinking you’ve gone into labour but they were just Braxton Hicks.

Everything’s ready, clothes, car seats, furniture, you wake up everyday looking at the crib in your room.

With your parents approval, Mark even moved in, wanting to be there as much as he could to support you.

Then one fateful night, you lift Mark’s arm off you so you can get out of bed and pee. It’s an unusually long pee, but you think nothing of it, everything’s a little weird down there these days.

You go back to sleep unbothered. Until you wake up with a pain like a cramp on steroids.

“But my water hasn’t broken yet!” You explain in pain to Mark, then you remember that awfully long pee. Ah.

“It’s going to be ok.” You know Mark is probably saying that to reassure the both of you as he helps you up off the bed and down the stairs to the couch. He goes up again to wake up your parents and get the hospital bag from your room.

“My textbooks.” You feel like a pain but Mark just wants to make you feel comfortable so he goes back up to get your books.

“Breathe, baby.” You mimic his pattern of breathing in the car, your dad driving you to the hospital while your mum calls Mark’s parents. You know what’s coming, you have your birth plan, but that doesn’t stop you from being filled with fear.

Instead of focusing on that fear, you lean on Mark, hold his hand tight and listen to his sweet words, the reassurance in his voice reminds you everything will be alright.

You can’t imagine how it can get more painful, but it does, even with the gas. You’re glad you’re in a hospital because Mark’s going to need to walk down the hall for some medical attention after with how hard you squeeze his hand.

No matter how long and painful it gets, Mark is always by your side. And that comfort, as well as the gas, the gas is sooooooo good, helps get you through it.

Until it all ends, and your little girl is finally here.

Holding her close to your bare chest is unreal, you’re a sweaty sobbing mess in front of loads of people, you’ve experienced the worst pain of your life, but just getting to hold her in your arms and call her yours makes it all worth it.

Tears trickle down from Mark’s eyes when he holds his whole world, his daughter, in his arms for the first time.

You’re relieved, but so so tired, you could sleep for a month and the effects of the gas have made you very bold.

“Dads can do it too.” After cleaning her up, and making sure you’re okay, a nurse suggests Mark try some skin-to-skin contact.

“I’m alright for now.” Mark opts out.

“Mark, I’ve had like a dozen people see my vagina, no ones going to care if you’re shirtless.” You remind him with absolutely no filter.

The next few hours your parents are there for support, but also respect that you’ll need some alone time as a new family.

“You’re allowed to have a break you know.” Mark eases the textbook out of your hands, sliding next to you in the hospital bed.

“Me giving birth doesn’t change the fact that exams are starting soon.” You worry.

Mark wraps an arm around your shoulder and plants a kiss on your cheek. You both look at the see through cot next to you, where your newborn daughter is sleeping peacefully.

“I’ve come to see my daughter.” Haechan makes his grand entrance into your hospital room, with a dramatic and serious voice.

“That’s not funny, man.” Mark frowns.

“It’s a little funny.” You chuckle.

Haechan approaches the cot, looking down at the baby.

“Cute kid.” He nods.

“The cutest.” You flex.

“Must have hurt like hell though, no offence but these last nine months have made me feel so glad guys can’t get pregnant.” You laugh at Haechan’s comment.

“I got you something.” He hands you a little gift bag. You slide out the package inside of it, a soft rattle shaped like a microphone.

“I figure she should get used to holding a mic so I can teach her to sing.” Haechan hides his sweet sentiment behind a joke.

Although you’d read so many books and been to tons of classes, you still don’t have a clue what you’re doing-well, practically.

Taking her home is when you know it’s actually real, that she’s your baby.

You’re so worried when you take care of her, she’s so delicate and tiny. You’ve got to take care of yourself too, still in considerable pain.

It’s okay because you’ve got the support of you and Mark’s mothers, and Mark himself is doing everything he can to help you.

“I’ve got it babe.” Between the studying and the newborn baby you barely get any sleep. Even though you try to get up, he insists he gets the baby at night so you can rest.

He turns on your bedside lamp and goes downstairs to get a bottle. Meanwhile, you ignore the pain in your lower body to go and pick up your crying daughter, going back to bed and soothing her the best you can until she gets fed.

Mark comes back with a bottle and you hand the baby over to him to feed her carefully.

“Thought of any names yet?” You ask him quietly.

“I quite like Hana.” He says softly, gaze focused on the baby girl’s face.

“Hana Lee.” You try it out.

“You want her to have my last name?” Mark confirms, a little shock in his voice.

“Yeah, I don’t mind.” You mumble.

You watch him, lying on your side half asleep as he finishes feeding and burping her.

“Babe?” You nod at his gentle voice.

“I think I want to try the skin-to-skin contact.” So you help him with his request, holding your baby while he pulls his plain white T-shirt off, then placing the now calm infant on his chest.

“She’s so soft.” He coos and you smile softly.

This was all you wanted, you, Mark and your baby. Or at least you thought so.

The next few days were spent settling in, getting her name finalised and getting used to being a family.

Sadly, the next few weeks were some of the most intense ones of your life. Exam season is stressful enough without having to juggle motherhood too.

Instead of sleeping when Hana was asleep you’d be studying. While pumping breast milk you’d be reading (and ignoring Mark’s stares, but in his defence it’s weird for him to see your boobs out so casually).

It all takes its toll on you, the screaming, the crying, the revision, the isolation when you and Mark’s mums return to work, it all builds up deep inside you.

You still have Mark, but somehow he’s not enough. He’s got his own studies to worry about, but he still has time to think about you. And that makes you feel guilty, as all the pressure on you means you don’t have the energy to think about him.

So you grow cold. You don’t have time for stay at home dates, for comforting touches in the middle of the night, for gifts where the money could have been used on something practical.

You’ve got two priorities, making sure that Hana has a bright future and a good role model by getting these exams right.

You hate to say it, but you start to take your stress out on Mark, no longer talking to him to let it out.

“You’re doing it wrong.” You snap coldly, getting annoyed seeing him giggle and fuss while changing Hana so you take over, sorting her out properly and disinfecting your hands before returning to your desk.

“I know how to do it, I was just playing around.” He explains.

“Then just do it.” You state, not taking your eyes off your book.

“You should take a break, you’ve been studying for hours.” He worries.

You sigh, marking your place in the book and slamming it shut, annoyed you’ll have to take time away from reading and waste it on this.

“I don’t have time for a break, Mark. And I don’t have time for this. You know damn well I can’t afford to fall behind, so I don’t have time for a damn break.” You finish, gritting your teeth.

“I think you need some time to yourself.” Mark tries to deescalate the situation.

“Yeah, I do.” You spit.

You continue like that for the rest of the evening, there’s no time for breaks or dinner, only to study and take care of Hana.

Yet you can’t seem to do that right. It’s one in the morning and she won’t stop bawling. You’ve tried feeding, changing, burping-the only thing you have left is to rock her frantically.

It’s the day before your first exam and you feel like all the worry will replace everything you’ve learned. What if she’s sick? What if she’s broken something? Is she in pain?

All these awful possibilities pound the inside of your head while her shrieking wails drill into your skull from the outside.

Then Mark comes into the room. Part of you expects him to look at you smugly and say ‘I told you so’, maybe this was karma for the awful way you treated him.

But that’s not Mark, you know that’s not Mark. He shows you sympathy even when you don’t deserve it, holding his hands out so he can try to soothe Hana.

He doesn’t get it immediately like you imagine he would, but eventually finds a way to move that lulls her into silence.

“Why does she hate me?” Your voice cracks with the question.

“She doesn’t hate you, she just doesn’t know what she wants.” Mark looks up from Hana’s peaceful face to your distressed one.

“She can probably sense how awful I am.” You continue, crashing down onto your bed.

“You’re not awful! You’re just stressed.” He counters, trying to be positive.

“I am, but I take it out on you and that’s not okay.” You admit, full of remorse.

He puts Hana back in her crib and joins you.

“I jus-“ You croak. “I just can’t take it anymore, it’s all so much. I keep on going, I try to look forward but it feels like I keep getting dragged down deeper and deeper, like even though I’m trying the best I can I’m going to ruin everything anyway.”

He holds your hand, you look into his eyes. The gentleness and care inside them makes you feel worse about what you’re going to say.

“I can’t keep on treating you like this, you don’t deserve it. But I think I need a break, it’s not fair that you give me so much and get nothing back in return.”

The lost puppy dog look that settles on his face makes your heart feel like it’s snapping into millions of tiny little pieces.

He switches back to his comforting look, but you both know he’s revealed the pain you’re causing him.

“If that’s what you need, I understand. But you’re not alone, we’re still going to do this together.” His support is unchanging.

You don’t know how long it’ll last, but you needtime to improve yourself before you can be in arelationship.

Thankfully, you get the support you need, the place where you went for prenatal classes also has a support group for teen parents. Mark comes with you and classes help a lot, but you find you’re the only pair of parents there that aren’t a couple.

In a strange way, nothing big has changed. Mark doesn’t hold you, but he’s still by your side. He doesn’t kiss you, but still comforts you with his words. Your dynamic with him andHaechan is pretty much unchanged except you swapped the PDA for a baby.

He’s still your rock, even though he doesn’t have to be.

Your feelings hadn’t been turned off though, you made your decision based on logic, but emotions aren’t logical. Your heart still skips a beat sometimes if Mark looks at you.

Then you’d go through that same thought process in your head, how you couldn’t play with his feelings like that. You’ve got a kid to think about now, if you tried again and it didn’t work out, Mark would rightfully get fed up and leave, but Hana would pay the price by not having a relationship with him.

After your exams, you can finally breathe for a bit and take up all sorts of activities with Hana in the summer. Baby sensory class, a music group, it’s good to spend time with her outside of you or Mark’s homes.

You get the grades you wanted and admission to a university of your choice, which also happens to be the same one Mark’s going to. He’s going to stay in dorms for a change of pace while you’ll stay at home.

With the costs that come with uni, the guilt you feel about everything you and Mark’s parents bought for Hana and your need for childcare, you decide to pick up a part time job to help out.

The summer comes to a close and uni starts. Sending Hana to daycare every day is an anxious new experience for you, but the trade off of getting to be a normal student again is a welcome reward.

You can attend class, make new friends, go to the occasional party, and people would only know you’re a mum if you chose to tell them.

But you wonder if doing so was a mistake when you have a coffee with new friends and old at a new cafe near campus.

“Aww she’s so sweet.” A man in a grey apron, with a name tag saying his name is ‘Yuta’ coos at Hana. “Is she your niece?”

“Nope, her daughter.” Jaehyun answers, then continues drinking his coffee. You’re slightly annoyed at how brazen your new friend can be.

“Oh.” The cafe worker looks flustered. “Are you her dad?”

“Nope, he is.” Jungwoo continues this string of cheekiness by pointing his finger at his roommate Mark, even though he’s sat right next to him.

“Ah, well, she’s very cute.” The man in the apron repeats nervously and leaves. You shake your head at your two new friends.

After telling them off, Haechan counter argues you can get special milf privileges if you use your power right. Then Jaehyun reminds him in the spirit of gender equality that Mark can have dilf privileges too, and a strange but fun conversation starts among the five of you. If someone told you that your life could be this enjoyable a few months ago, you would have asked them to pinch you.

That previous summer was another world compared to the one last year, but you wouldn’t change it for a thing.


	6. Can We Just Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is easier when you’re honest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long break :(

“Mum?” You snap out of your daze to make eye contact with Hana, who is laying cozily under the covers in her bed, the pink glow of her nightlight lighting up her face.

“Yes, sweetie?” To show you’re listening, you crouch down to the level of her bed and play gently with her hair.

“Are you and Dad having a fight?” Shocked by her question, you pause for a moment to take it in and think.

“No, we’re just having some alone time.” That’s the best explanation you can come up with, even though it massively understates the situation.

Thankfully it’s enough for Hana and she mumbles an, “Oh, okay,” In response. 

After she falls asleep, you sigh walking to your bedroom, disappointed at having to spend another night alone in your bed.

You check your phone, Haechan’s singular text has expanded into 9 more, even a few phone calls. Haechan and Mark are the last two people you want to talk to right now.

How will this end? You toss and turn under the covers while wondering. The fearful part of you worries this is the last straw, that you’ve ruined your friendship with Mark and he’ll never want to be around you.

Yet a curious, slightly crazy part of you thinks... what if Mark liked it?

No, that’s a very stupid thing to think. Smothering your face with the unused pillow doesn’t make it go away. Acknowledging it only makes it worse, the minuscule chance something so crazy could be reality fills your thoughts throughout the night.

Morning comes and you wake up extremely groggy and still panicking internally. You manage to hide these feelings from Hana while you both get ready for the day, sitting her in front of the TV to watch cartoons and eat toast before leaving for work. Mark can take her to school, but you don’t want to think about him.

You want to think about getting a nice cup of coffee, two extra shots of espresso would surely revive you, but you have to settle for instant coffee at work.

If you were at Yuta’s cafe, you could drink enough caffeine to bring you back to life and have his comforting words too.

He was nice when you told him on Saturday, but just a bit too optimistic. Jaehyun was realistic about the situation, people do stupid things when they’re drunk and most of the time their actions have no meaning.

Although Yuta and Jaehyun aren’t here, Taeyong is. Even though he and Mark have grown close, you doubt he’s told him what happened.

“Wow, that sure is a...surprise.” You can tell he’s not sure how to react.

“We haven’t spoken since.” You elaborate, then look down at your mug, swirling the bitter tasting coffee around.

“I’m sure you guys can get through this.” He speaks positively.

“But I don’t know what to say.” You stay in your state of despair.

“Well anything, really. I’m sure Mark will just be glad you still want to talk to him, so start from there.” Taeyong’s words are reassuring. Is it really that simple?

You keep them in mind, even when the topic changes and the work day ends. You’ve been given the rare opportunity to finish early, so you can pick Hana up today.

At the school gates, you ponder on how that talk would start. Yes, you could say anything, but not  _ anything _ .

Someone tapping your shoulder makes you worry the moment’s already here. Has Mark come to pick up Hana too?

Nah, it’s just...Haechan?

“Oh God.” You cover your face with your palm and let out a sigh of relief.

“Good to see you too, so glad you’ve been answering my texts and calls; oh wait.” He says sarcastically. You feel a little guilty, but Mark has already given him the full story, why does he need to hear from you?

“Why are you here?” You question him.

“I figured it was time for drastic measures since you and Mark haven’t spoken in two days. So we can go to the park, you can tell me what’s going on, then I can look after Hana for a few hours so you two can talk.” Haechan’s plan is pretty solid, so you agree.

The gentle breeze jostles the fabric of your clothes as you and Haechan both stand in front of the playground, watching Hana play.

“So, you and Mark kissed?” Haechan makes you remember it in excruciating detail, almost like you can feel Mark’s lips on yours again.

You nod slowly, not able to find the words.

“Well really, this is a good thing, right? Since technically you guys are on a break.” Haechan quips and nudges you slightly.

“No one is on a break for 5 years. We crossed a line.” You shake your head.

“I know you think I’m the last person to say this, but if you both feel the same way then surely it isn’t a big deal.” Haechan suggests.

“I think if I kissed anyone else I wouldn’t have reacted as bad, it’s because it’s him.” You start, “I like our relationship as it is, I like where we are, I don’t want that to all come tumbling down cause of one stupid mistake.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to, just talk to each other.” Haechan makes it seem so simple. Maybe it is.

Yet, when you get home after leaving Hana with him, the nerves piling up inside you make it feel like the most stressful conversation you’ll ever have.

“Where’s Hana?” These are the first words Mark has said to you since Saturday.

“She’s with Haechan.” You answer and approach him cautiously, sitting next to him on the sofa, before asking your own question.

“Can we talk?” Your voice wavers with anxiousness but he agrees to your proposal.

“So Saturday night...” You bring up the incident that’s caused so much tension between you two.

“It was...” Mark speaks, loosening up slightly as he faces you.

“-a mistake.” You state. He seems slightly taken aback, but he probably wasn’t expecting you to finish the sentence for him.

“Yeah.” He nods. “We were just being drunk and dumb.”

“And we both know how that goes.” You try to make a joke but the laughter you both let out is strained.

“Are we okay?” Mark seems unsure.

“We are, we both messed up but it’s alright. Nothing’s changed, we’re still friends, we still feel the same.” Your rambling feels more like persuasion rather than a statement, but that’s how it has to be, that’s what you both have to believe.

Mark nods, the tension leaves his face but you can’t help but wonder if it’s left his mind. 

You can put away the awkward incident, you’re just not sure if you can hide from the feelings it’s dredged up.

It’s not back to normal immediately, but now that you’re talking again it doesn’t take long for everything to be alright. Most importantly, Hana doesn’t suspect anything was wrong, and now Haechan can tease Mark publicly about the way his voice wavered and he sniffled while calling him about the kiss.

It’s a good thing you and Mark are alright now because coming to his work to give him his flash drive would have been an awkward way to start talking again.

Mark sends a message calling you a lifesaver and telling you what floor his office is on. After dropping Hana off at school, you make a quick detour to his work.

Unlike you, Mark finds joy in his job. He loves the challenge of meeting his deadlines and he’s well liked among his coworkers.

You can see this as you’re about to walk in through the glass door and give him his flash drive. He’d mentioned how he’s training a new recruit but made no mention of how beautiful she is. Or how she was clearly into him.

Every action, the eye catching way she’s dressed, the way she plays with her hair, laughing way too hard because Mark’s jokes aren’t that funny and placing her hand on his bicep through the crisp clean cotton of his shirt, it all makes you feel sick.

It shouldn’t. This is what you both want, Mark is free and so are you. Yet something twists inside your stomach and you can’t find the strength to walk through the door. So you take your hand off the handle and go over to the receptionist instead.

“Could you please give this to Mr Lee?” You leave the flash drive with the man at the desk and wonder how to accept it’s time to move on. 

You go on with your day as normal, hoping Taeyong doesn’t notice that you’re slightly out of it. By the end of the day it’s clear what you have to do.

While walking through the car park, you get your phone out, tapping the phone icon next to the contact when you sit in the car.

“Hey Jaehyun.” You begin.

“Hi Y/N. What’s up?”

“Could you set me up on a date?” There’s uncertainty in your tone, not quite believing you’re saying those words. 

“I thought you’d never ask, sure I will! Has this whole thing with Mark made you want to move on?” Jaehyun inquires.

“Yeah, something like that.”

You’re not sure if you want to, but you know you need to.

It’s not something you want to share with everyone, least of all Mark, so Jaehyun agrees to keep it between you. Apart from where you’re going and what time you’re meeting, the rest of the date is a mystery.

Your first date in a hot minute should be a big deal and it is, but you don’t let that show until you need to.

It’s kind of a sucky thing to do, but you know Mark’s got no plans this evening, so you get ready once Hana’s off to bed.

“You look nice, where are you going?” Mark asks when you enter the living room to get your keys.

“On a date.” You state simply. 

“Oh.” The smile on his face falters slightly, but he brings it back up. There’s a painful silence and uninterrupted eye contact before he speaks again. “Have fun.”

You give him a hopefully convincing smile and leave.

You know he was trying to sound unbothered, but why should you care? He didn’t care how you felt seeing him with that woman, but it doesn’t make sense to think like that, he didn’t see you at all. 

So you don’t think, rationally or irrationally, on the ride to the restaurant. You’re so out of it the driver has to tell you twice that you’re here and you rush out the vehicle with a hurried thanks.

The hum of chatter and clinking of cutlery on china fills the emptiness in your head. When the server takes you to your table there’s already a dark haired, stylish looking man sat there.

He gets up and you greet him with a kiss on the cheek before sitting down together.

“I’m Doyoung.”

“Y/N.” You reply.

Everything should be perfect, the restaurant is nice and you learn a lot about each other. Doyoung is a really charming guy, if only you weren’t such an absolute mess.

“Sorry if I’m getting this wrong but is everything alright?” He’s definitely picked up on it, putting his fork down to ask you.

“Yeah, it’s my first date in while, think I’m just nervous.” Like you need to show it with your actions, you drop your fork with an embarrassing clatter.

“You sure? It seems like more than nerves, is there something on your mind?” He prods further.

“Well.” You think for a moment, but you’ve blown your chances now and will probably never see him again, so might as well say it. “Would you ever consider getting back with your ex?” He leans in, resting his head in his hand in interest, so you continue. “What if things were really good, it didn’t end bad but it was just complicated.”

“How complicated?” He asks specifically.

“We have a kid together.”

“Oh.”

It might be the alcohol you’ve ingested that loosening you up or it might be how refreshing it is to be fully honest about your feelings but you tell Doyoung everything. How you met, you getting pregnant, all the stress, how you’d been just friends for years and now how lately all these feelings had been coming back up.

“So you kissed last week?” Doyoung repeats and you nod.

“Yes but we’re okay now, and he likes this new girl at his work anyway.”

“Are you sure? It sounds like she was the only one flirting to me.” He says.

“Well, maybe. I don’t know why it matters anyway, he can do whatever he wants.” You remind yourself out loud.

“But that doesn’t change how you feel.” Doyoung reassures you.

“I’m not sure how I feel. It could just be my stupid maternal mind acting up because the three of us are living together again.” You try to make sense of it.

“Or maybe you’re letting your walls down and being honest with yourself.” 

“But I’ve just told him our kiss was a mistake.” You sigh.

“It might have been, but your feelings aren’t.” 

Doyoung sits up to speak some more.

“There’s a million reasons why you could say no, but you’re still thinking about it so why not just be honest with him? Worst case scenario is he doesn’t feel the same and you just stay as friends, but you’ll keep on wondering until you do something.” 

“Okay, I can start by being honest with myself. I can’t ask any of my friends for advice, they’ll let it slip to him for sure.”

“Well, you can talk to me. This isn’t how I was expecting this night to go at all, but I’d love to help.” His warm facial expression matches his kind and supportive words.

“Yeah this is probably the worst first date you’ve ever had, huh? Talking about exes is a big no no.”

“It’s not the worst, in fact it’s the most entertaining date I’ve been on.” Doyoung laughs and you join in.

You’ve definitely made a mess of it all but at the end of the night Doyoung gives you his number and a promise to listen and give you advice about you and Mark.

It feels weird to think about, there hasn’t been a you and Mark for a while. The possibility of it, no matter how unlikely, makes your stomach flutter.

“How did it go?” You jerk slightly, snapping out of your daydream state for the second time tonight when you enter your bedroom and Mark asks you about your date.

“Well...” You pause, remembering your promise of being honest to Mark and yourself. “It was kind of a disaster.”

“Oh, was the guy rude to you?” Mark asks, concerned.

“No!” You set him straight and sit next to him. “I was just super awkward.” 

“Cut yourself some slack, it’s your first date in ages.”

“I was awkward during our first date too.” You’re doing it again, bringing up the past.

“A little, but it was cute.” Normally, Mark saying something like that wouldn’t be a big deal, but it makes you feel warm somehow.

“I’m sure you’ll have loads of better dates.” He smiles.

“I hope you do too.” Yousay back.


	7. The Three of Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How could such a simple day out make you feel this way?

“We’re here.” Mark finally finds a space in the busy car park before coming to a stop.

“We’re here!” Hana repeats, full of excitement. She’d be bouncing around the car if she wasn’t fastened in safely.

You’re finally getting around to taking Hana to Build-a-Bear, so she’s rightfully excited. You’d offered to bring Haechan along but he insisted it would be good for you and Mark to spend some time together, like you don’t see each other every day. 

It’s stupid, but with the way you’ve been feeling lately, you’re a bit nervous to spend time with him one on one, even though you’ve made up. But it’s not just you and him, you’re both here for Hana, nothing more nothing less and you have to remember that. Even if it makes you feel a bit empty.

You all get out of the car, then you take Hana’s hand, reminding her to walk slowly because of all the moving cars. Once you step through the automatic glass doors of the mall’s entrance, the air conditioning welcomes you in and you’re fine to let go of Hana.

There’s lots of people around, which is expected on a Saturday afternoon. One store front with a banner reading ‘SALE’ has you interested.

“Should we look around some of the shops first?” You’re asking Mark but Hana gives her answer. 

“No! Teddy bear first.” She crosses her arms and nods.

“Alright, sweet pea.” Mark agrees with Hana, patting her head, so the three of you go straight there.

As expected, it’s a place overflowing with fun and enjoyment. Kids excitedly making their new stuffed friends and their parents helping them. 

It only takes a few minutes before a member of staff approaches you at the entrance.

“Hi, would you like to build a bear today?” She’s addressing the three of you, but mainly Hana.

“Yeah! My uncle Haechan gave me a card so I can build one.” Hana beams.

“That’s really nice of him, let’s get you started.” You follow her into the shop.

“I’m not sure which one to get.” Hana taps her finger on her cheek while looking at the selection of bears in front of her.

“What about this one?” Mark picks up a simple cream coloured bear.

“Mmm mmm.” Hana shakes her head.

“What about a rabbit?” You suggest.

“No, I want a bea-“ Hana ends her sentence abruptly to pick a stuffed animal.

“I want her!” She decides happily, holding a pastel coloured bear with mesh fairy wings.

Hana walks up to the worker with her bear and she leads you to pick out the next parts. Not able to decide a scent for her bear, Hana makes you and Mark crouch down to help before picking candy floss.

“It smells like the fair.” She explains.

After picking a voice for her bear, the employee helps to stuff it, hooking it up to the nozzle and telling Hana to press the button to fill her up. Hana presses the big button eagerly, thrilled watching her bear get made.

“Now give her a hug to make sure she’s stuffed just right.” Hana does as she told, giving the worker a thumbs up to say her bear passed the hug test.

Hana picks out the perfect fairy outfit-sparkly light up dress, strappy pink shoes and a matching crown and wand.

The last step is to fill out the bear’s birth certificate. Mark helps Hana spell out all the words until she’s done.

“She’s called Daisy.” She shows you the piece of paper proudly.

“That’s a lovely name.” You praise.

The staff member helps Hana put her bear and the certificate in a house shaped box.

“When you and your husband are ready to pay, the till is just over there.” The employee points in the direction before going to help another child.

The name she used only hits you after she’s left. Did Mark notice? You turn to see him talking with Hana, hopefully he didn’t notice.

You hand over the gift card at the desk and it pays for everything with even a little money left to spare, Haechan really loves to spoil Hana.

“Let’s take a picture to show him.” Mark gets his phone out and Hana smiles, bear in one hand and birth certificate in the other. 

“We should put her in the car so you don’t have to carry her.” You tell Hana while helping her put Daisy back in her box. She insists on holding the box on the way back, walking ahead of you and Mark.

“You didn’t correct her.”

“Hmm?” You know exactly what he’s talking about but play dumb. 

“When that lady called me your husband.” He brings it up.

“Oh.” You’ve been caught out. “No biggie, it’s an easy mistake to make.”

“You always correct everyone though. Do you want to be my wife or something?” On any other day, you would have played off his teasing easily, but even as a joke, the question makes your heart flip.

“No!” You hope he doesn’t question how high your voice is. “I’m just tired of correcting everyone all the time.”

“Whatever you say, darling.” His sickly sweet teasing tone makes your face feel warm, thankfully Mark leaves it at that.

At the car, Hana takes her bear out ofthe box and sits it next to her booster seat, pulling the seatbelt over it. Since she’s slightly tired from lugging the box about, you pick her up and hold her on your hip.

Noticing he’s alone, Mark looks back. He smiles at you and Hana, then keeps on walking ahead.

He’s about to step back inside when a woman stops to talk to him and they greet each other friendlily. When you get closer and can see her face clearly, you know exactly who she is. 

“Who’s this?” You interrupt their conversation.

“Y/N, this is Hayley, the new girl I’ve been training at work.” Then he talks to her.

“Hayley, this is... what are we?” He’s only joking but his words make you ache.

“This is my friend, Y/N.” That’s how he decides to sum up your complicated relationship.

“And this is our daughter, Hana.” Hana waves on cue after you speak.

It’s extremely petty, but you take great joy in seeing the look of shock and slight horror settle on her.

“You’re a dad?!” She squeaks. 

“Yeah, haven’t you seen Hana’s picture on my desk?” 

“I thought that was your niece!” She says shell shocked.

“Nope, she’s our daughter.” You repeat.

She doesn’t have much to say after that and the conversation ends abruptly, not a clue why.

“What was that?” Mark questions your behaviour as you keep on walking.

“What was what? I was just being friendly, we were all saying hello.” You say nonchalantly. Mark gives you a funny look and shakes his head.

With Hana’s treat out of the way, the three of you can now look around the other shops. It’s hard for a five year old to be interested in clothes or shoes or bags, so Hana keeps herself entertained by playing games on your phone.

You watch the little character bouncing across the screen with Hana sat in your lap, while you both sit outside the changing room of a men’s fashion store.

“What do you think?” Mark’s been meaning to get a new suit and the one he’s picked out is a great fit, a simple black and white number that makes him look stunning. The two buttons left undone on his shirt draw your attention.

“Your dad looks very handsome, doesn’t he?” You filter your compliment through your daughter.

“Yeah you look nice, Dad!” She agrees.

“I guess I’ll get it then.” He decides with a warm smile.

To end your time in the mall your last stop is the food court. Today is truly a treat day for Hana as she gets to decide what you’ll all eat. Like most kids her age, a burger, fries, and cute little plastic toy are right up her alley. 

“You’re so weird, you still eat them like that?!” The sight of Mark swirling a fry in his chocolate milkshake makes you feel ill.

“You can’t say it’s weird when you’ve never tried it!” He pulls the fry out and brings it to your mouth. 

You indulge him and give it a go, a mistake from the start as the clashing salt and sweet doesn’t agree with your tastebuds, the flavour only getting worse when the texture of mushy potato is added.

Mark finds the sour look on your face very amusing and laughs silently, turning your grossed out scowl into a pout.

“You’ve got something there.” Instead of just pointing it out, Mark brings his hand to your face, fingers settling under your chin while his thumb brushes gently past your lips.

You’re doing it again, getting lost in a meaningless moment, turning a friend helping a friend into a show of affection. But you can’t help but get lost in the simple touch and swear to yourself Mark is keeping his hand there longer than he should.

The sound of Hana’s kids meal toy crashing onto the ground snaps you out of it. Hopefully the guise of helping Hana get her toy back is enough to excuse you jerking away.

It was a lovely day. When Hana gets older and outgrows her currently new bear, she’ll always have the memory of a fun day out with her parents. It’s also cemented your certainty of how you feel.

Your phone rings as you arrive home. Mark and Hana go on inside while you stay in the car to pick it up.

“Hey, Jaehyun.”

“Hi. I know you don’t want to talk about your date but would you be interested in another one?” He asks.

“I’m good, think I’ll be taking a break for a while.” You admit, but don’t give a reason why.

“That’s alright. I know sometimes I might come across as pushy, but I just want to help you out. Whether that’s dating or not, I’ve got your back.” His words are reassuring, you wonder if he’d say the same thing if he knew why you’re throwing in the towel.

“Thank you, I really appreciate you helping me out.” You reply.

The conversation ends shortly after that. Then, you text Doyoung, asking if he’s down for brunch and an important conversation tomorrow.

Luckily he’s free, so after a blissful Sunday morning, you head over to the spot he recommended.

This place paints a pretty picture, chairs and tables scattered with customers not afraid of the air that’s growing colder with each day. Two hot beverages, two slices of cake and two unlikely acquaintances.

There’s a lump in your throat as you muster up the courage. The thought hasn’t even fully formed in your head yet, but you’re about to say it.

“I think I have feelings for Mark.”

“Wait, what?

If you admitting that wasn’t scary enough, the familiar voice behind you having heard what you just said makes the moment even more terrifying.


End file.
